Equestria Preteens Season 5
by Dennis Fielder
Summary: The gang continues their adventures together, now working on parodying movies as well as facing the mystery of their new enemy, Dr. Insano. Also, a mystery of Hagrid Dash's past is revealed.
1. Silent Hill Z

**Equestria Preteens**

**Season 5**

Episode 1: Silent Hill Z

(It opens at the library on Halloween as the guys walk up to Twilight, dressed as Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, walks up.)

Twilight: So Doug, who are you?  
Doug: I'm Goku from Dragonball Z!  
Twilight: That's cool! So who are you, Hagrid?  
Hagrid: Captain... America...!  
Twilight: Okay.  
Hagrid: Yes it is!  
John: I'm Captain Britain.  
Twilight: Okay, so who are you, Chris?  
Chris: I'm Thor!  
Twilight: Thor?  
Chris: Well it hurts getting this thing fitted.  
Hagrid: Urgh...  
Doug: So, let's go party!  
Hagrid: YEAH!

(They go there as Applejack arrives as a scarecrow, and Pinkie's a chicken.)

Pinkie: Ooh Rob, are you an arrow target?  
Hagrid: No! I'm... Captain... America...!  
Applejack: ... What's with the dramatic yell?  
Hagrid: I felt like it.

(The girls arrive. Applebloom's the Pied Piper. Sweetie Belle's a pirate, and Scootaloo's Batgirl.)

Applebloom: Do ya think anythin' interstin' will happen?  
Twilight: Maybe.  
Doug: Well come on, we've gotta meet Rainbow Dash and Rarity at the-

(There's a loud siren wail as the ten all groan and clutch their heads when the world is suddenly tinted red.)

Doug: Oh, this is generally not a good sign.

(Suddenly Rarity and Rainbow Dash arrive. Rarity's dressed like Queen Susan the Gentle, and Rainbow Dash is dressed as Amelia Earhart.)

Doug: Okay, what are you two doing here?  
Rarity: I have no idea! We were just on our way to the party when we heard this siren and voila, we're here.  
Doug: That's what happened to us.  
Rainbow Dash: Well this is weird.

(They hear a squeal and go to a sofa that just appeared as Fluttershy's shivering under it.)

Hagrid: Fluttershy?  
Fluttershy: EEP!

(Fluttershy jumps up and shrieks but calms down when she sees it's them.)

Fluttershy: Oh, thank goodness it's you. I thought it was something scary. Oh, I hate Halloween.

(They look around, and they're inside a house.)

Doug: Oh, now that just makes no sense.

(They hear a metallic screech and turn to see a large person wearing a metallic sideways pyramid shape on their head and dragging a huge sword.)

Rainbow Dash: Oh my god, that's a pyramid head from Silent Hill!  
Doug: Holy crud, Silent Hill was real? Well... Here goes nothing.

(Doug makes a fighting stance as the pyramid head comes closer.)

Hagrid: What are you doing?! Just because you're dressed like Goku doesn't mean you have his powers!  
Doug: Actually it does. I cast that spell I used for my phasers and Lightsaber on this costume just in case something attacked.  
Hagrid: Oh... Smart thinking.

(The Pyramid Head keeps moving as Doug stands stock still until he speeds forward and punches it in the gut, knocking it back as it charges, but Doug's disappeared with everyone else as the Pyramid Head looks around, but Doug taps its shoulder.)

Doug: Excuse me; have you seen a little girl about knee high?

(It swings its sword as Doug knocks it aside and punches it in the gut as it stumbles back. It's about to fight back when Twilight pulls out her Hermione wand.)

Twilight: Petrifiticus Totalus!

(It becomes stock still as everyone wails on it when it shrieks and knocks them all back as Fluttershy hides under the table as it goes to her, Doug takes out a Power Pole and hits it in the face, bringing it to its knees.)

Doug: Just so you know; wearing that big echo chamber over your head isn't a good idea.

(Doug beats it with his pole repeatedly. Eventually it stands up, slightly dizzy as Doug puts the Pole back.)

Doug: Okay guys, back up. I've always wanted to try this.

(Doug cups his hands behind his back.)

Doug: Ka-me-ha-me... HA!

(A Kamehameha Wave shoots out and fries the Pyramid Head.)

Doug: Whoo. That took a lot outta me.

(Another Pyramid Head appears.)

Doug: Here we go again.

(Doug swings his Pole at the Pyramid Head as it does nothing.)

Doug: Uh-oh.

(It continues on as Rob throws his shield as it knocks the Pyramid Head back, but it keeps moving forward, and Twilight's spells aren't working.)

Chris: There's only one thing to do! For Odin! FOR ASGARD!  
Pinkie: For candy!  
Chris: Yeah, that too.

(Chris brings his hammer down as the Pyramid Head gets electrocuted, but it keeps coming.)

Rainbow Dash: Well it's not gonna get me without a fight.  
John: You can't win, but there are alternatives to fighting.  
Rarity: Like what?  
Pinkie: Like getting the heck outta here!

(Pinkie rushes off, leaving an egg behind. They all nod and rush off as well, barricading themselves in a small room with a few boxes.)

Chris: Okay, we may be in trouble.  
Rarity: Oh this can't be the end! I'm too young to die!

(Doug looks at one of the boxes and opens it to reveal a confederacy war musket.)

Doug: Huh. Wonder what this is doing here?  
Hagrid: What good does it do?! It's just a toy! If a recreation of Thor's hammer based off a toy doesn't work, what good is a musket that probably doesn't even work anymore?! There's not even anyway of loading the thing!  
Doug: It's this or nothing, Hagrid.

(Doug pulls out the gun as the Pyramid Head comes in and shoots at it as a red ball of light comes and disintegrates the Pyramid Head.)

Doug: Ooh...

(He groans and clutches his head as everyone else does the same when they end up back in the normal world at Fluttershy's house.)

Doug: Well that was a fun Halloween moment.  
Fluttershy: If you don't mind, I think I'll just go to bed.  
Doug: No problem. We've got a party to get to.  
Twilight: Doug, you're still holding that gun.  
Doug: Huh. Weird. You'd think it'd vanish with the Other World. Oh well, it's mine now.  
Rarity: How did it shoot the Pyramid Head?!  
Doug: I don't know. Magic?

(They head out.)

The End... For now...


	2. The Wrath of Khan's Jungle Book

**Equestria Preteens**

**Season 5**

Episode 2: The Wrath of Khan's Jungle Book Into Darkness

(It opens with Hagrid looking over ideas to parody as he sighs and sees the script for the stage play, Jungle Book.)

Hagrid: Hm...

(Hagrid also notices Fluttershy calling as he smiles.)

Hagrid: Hey Fluttershy. I'm glad you called!  
Fluttershy (statically): Really?!  
Hagrid: Yeah! How many of your animals are good with people?!  
Fluttershy: Huh?

(Cut to inside the studio as the gang's sitting at a table.)

Hagrid: Guys, how do we do in our normal projects?  
Doug: Well they like the brevity of it and the references we throw in.  
Hagrid: Perfect!  
Doug: But they think it's short on new jokes.  
Hagrid: ... Fair enough.  
Twilight: Maybe we should consider doing something aside from parody.  
Chris: Ooh! Documentaries about our home lives!  
Pinkie: How to make lasagnas!  
John: Adapting stage plays?  
Rarity: Now I truly believe that could work.  
Applejack: Yee-ha! We just need a load a'play scripts.  
Hagrid: My thoughts exactly, and I know just the one to start with! Now we got Thanksgiving coming up.

(Doug looks down for a moment.)

Applejack: Eh.  
Hagrid: What do you mean "eh"? It's Thanksgiving. Now, in honor of the occasion, I was thinking something that was timeless, classic, and a little nostalgic. Let's say the Jungle Book.  
Rainbow Dash: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't you think that's a little-  
Hagrid: Not the Disney film. A stage play.  
Doug: Oh yeah! I saw that! It parallels Kipling's time in prep school with the story!  
Hagrid: Exactly. We can use Fluttershy's animals, and we're all set.  
Fluttershy: Um... I don't know. My tiger Khan's been kind of temperamental.  
Hagrid: Oh, he must just be caged up, but this is perfect! We have a tiger named Khan! Now let's do this, gang! If we start right now, we'll be done by the day before Thanksgiving!  
Doug: ... Eh.  
Hagrid: Dude, what is it with you and AJ?!  
Doug: Nothing.  
Hagrid: And you?  
Applejack: Well we usually use the time off from school for a few extra days harvestin'. Nothin' severe enough that I can't help out, though.  
Hagrid: Right! Anyone else have anything planned for Thanksgiving Break?!

(Everyone agrees to work.)

Hagrid: Great! Everyone ready to do Jungle Book on the internet with real animals?!  
Doug: I've got a bad feeling about this.

(Cut to Chris on the phone.)

Chris: Hey Mom, Hagrid's got this new idea for a film, so I'll be busy, but we'll be done by Thanksgiving. Alright, thanks. Love you. Bye.

(Cut to Twilight in a video chat.)

Twilight: Hey Mom, Hagrid's got this break out of parody idea, so I'll be busy up until Thanksgiving Day.  
Mrs. Sparkle: Okay dear. Have fun!

(Cut to John reading through the script as Doug works on it.)

Doug: What do you think, so far?  
John: I see you're doing some modernizing of the dialogue to make it easy to follow.  
Doug: Yeah, but is the point still getting across?  
John: I'd say so.

(Cut to Pinkie talking to her dad.)

Pinkie: And we're gonna have real for real animals for this one!  
Major Pie: Ooh!

(Cut to Rarity making the outfits.)

Rarity: Alright, this looks early twentieth, I think. Let me just cross-reference it.

(Rarity looks up designs on the computer.)

Rarity: I think I've got it.

(Cut to Applejack on the phone.)

Applejack: Yeah, Granny. Hagrid asked us ta do some kinda break out thing for this "Demo Reel" stuff he talked us inta year before last, so I'm gonna probably have ta wait until around three ta get at my share of the apple buckin'. (Pause) Thanks for understandin', Granny. See ya tonight.

(Cut to Rainbow Dash as she is trying on some of the clothes.)

Rarity: Stay still, Rainbow Dash.  
Rainbow Dash: Oh, but I'm sooo Booored!

(Cut to Doug finishing up the first draft as Twilight sits next to him.)

Twilight: So, how'd writing go.  
Doug: The hard part was avoiding making the simplified dialogue sound like it was from the Disney version, but I think Hagrid will like it.  
Twilight: Great. Can I ask you something?  
Doug: Yeah.  
Twilight: How come you're not that excited for Thanksgiving?  
Doug: ... Just... Just haven't been in a Thanksgiving mood since Mom and Dad... You know.  
Twilight: Oh. I understand, but hey, you've still got us, and your grandpa, and the whole Apple Family. That's something to be grateful for, don't you think?  
Doug: ... Yeah. Yeah. Thanks Twi.

(Hagrid comes in wearing a ragged t-shirt and shorts.)

Hagrid: Hey, does this look like what a jungle boy would have without any contact to humanity?  
Doug: Eh...

(Cut to later as Doug comes in with the script.)

Doug: Alright, Hagrid. We've got a script.  
Hagrid: Wonderful!  
Fluttershy: Hagrid, I'm really not sure about this.  
Hagrid: What? Why?  
Fluttershy: Khan's just been really irritated lately. I don't think he'll be cooperative.  
Hagrid: Okay, look. We're an amateur film crew thingy production. I'm sure we can get Khan to play along. I mean, Disney did it for the World's Greatest Athlete.  
Doug: Didn't the tiger in that movie rip out a seat belt because it got too hot?  
Hagrid: Oh, stop worrying!  
Pinkie: Yeah! It's gonna be fine! Now let's shoot this movie!

(Cut to Fluttershy's bear as she's petting it as Chris and John are stretching when Scootaloo, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Sunset, and Trixie arrive.)

Applebloom: Howdy! Y'all called for some help?!  
Hagrid: Yeah, I'm gonna need Scootaloo as Mowgli and Rudyard Kipling.  
Scootaloo: Aw!  
Hagrid: Don't worry about it. Now let's go!  
Chris: Yeah. I mean, after all, we've gotta...  
Look for the bare necessities.  
The simple bare necessities.  
Forget about your worries and your strife.  
I mean the bare necessities.  
That's why a bear can rest at ease  
With just the bare necessities of life.  
Wherever I wonder, Wherever I roam,  
I couldn't be found out my big home.  
The bees are buzzing in the trees  
To make some honey just for me.  
When you look under the rocks and plants  
And take a glance at the fancy ants  
And maybe try a few...  
Scootaloo: You're speaking metaphorically, right?  
Chris: You better believe it. Though I do miss the way they tickle.  
Sweetie Belle: Huh?  
Chris: The bare necessities of life will come to you.  
Applebloom: And us?  
Chris: They'll come to you.  
_Look for the bare necessities.  
The simple bare necessities.  
Forget about your worries and your strife.  
I mean the bare necessities.  
That's why a bear can rest at ease  
With just the bare necessities of life.  
Now when you pick a paw-paw or a prickly pear,  
And you pick a raw paw, well next time beware.  
Don't pick a prickly pear by the paw.  
When you pick a pear, try to use the claw.  
But you don't need to use the claw,  
When you pick a pear with the big paw-paw.  
Have I given you a clue?  
_Trixie: That's surprisingly deep.  
Sunset: Definitely.  
John (scoffing): Paw-paw. Of all the silly gibberish.  
Chris: Come on, John! Get with the beat!  
_The bare necessities of life will come to you.  
_Scootaloo: _They'll come to me!  
_Chris: _They'll come to you.  
_  
(The gang films the scene of the bear with Scootaloo as it goes off without a hitch.)

Hagrid: Wow! This is working perfectly!  
Chris: You said it. This is really living.  
So just try and relax. Fall apart in my back yard.  
'Cause let me tell you something Scootaloo.  
If you act like that bee, you're working too hard.  
And don't spend your time looking around  
For something you want that can't be found.  
_When you find out you can live without it  
And go along not thinking about it,  
I'll tell you something true.  
The bare necessities of life will come to you.  
_Everyone: _They'll come to me!  
_Chris: _They'll come to you.  
_Everyone: _Look for the bare necessities.  
The simple bare necessities.  
Forget about your worries and your strife.  
I mean the bare necessities.  
That's why a bear can rest at ease  
With just the bare necessities of life.  
With just the bare necessities of life.  
_Hagrid: Okay, now let's take a look at that tiger.

(They go to the tiger, pent up as it growls.)

Rainbow Dash: Um... Is this the cranky tiger.  
Fluttershy: Yes.

(Khan growls angrily as all the other animals, including Brian, Roger, and Spike, back up nervously.)

Doug: Oh, that's not a good sign.  
Hagrid: Come on guys, let's get to the real world stuff before using the rest of the animals.

(They head off as the tiger growls, and they rush off as Fluttershy comes up.)

Fluttershy: Oh, Khan, no!

(Fluttershy rushes after him with Rainbow Dash.)

Rainbow Dash: Okay, we have to keep a lid on this. We can probably just calm Khan down easily with you.  
Fluttershy: I hope so.

(They sneak through the studio as Fluttershy turns to Rainbow Dash.)

Fluttershy: You go through that hallway, I'll go through the door. If you find him, call me ASAP. Khan's got me really worried with this attitude problem of his.

(Fluttershy goes into a large empty room as the other animals follow, nervously.)

Fluttershy: Oh, it's okay little guys. We're gonna be fine.  
Roger: No we're not! Game over man! This is a bug hunt! A BUG HUNT!  
Spike: Roger, pull yourself together!

(Spike slaps Roger.)

Roger: Thanks. I needed that.  
Brian: Come on, everything's gonna be fine.  
Fluttershy: Oh my!  
Brian: What?  
Fluttershy: Khan's cut through a bunch of the power cables.

(Angel Bunny gulps.)

Roger: Oh man, we're all gonna die!

(Khan's roaring echoes through the room. Fluttershy follows into the hallway as Khan's there growling. Fluttershy goes to her cell phone.)

Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash, I found Khan.  
Rainbow Dash (statically): What's he doing?  
Fluttershy: He's just staring at me.  
Rainbow Dash: Ha! Scaredy cat, huh?!  
Fluttershy: I think he can hear you, Rainbow.  
Rainbow Dash: Don't move. I'm coming.

(Rainbow Dash hangs up as Khan charges, and Fluttershy screams. Cut to Rainbow Dash rushing to where Fluttershy is as she's lying there with cuts on her arms from Khan's claws, and a few cuts on her face.)

Rainbow Dash: Oh my god!  
Fluttershy: I'll be okay. I've just gotta treat these quick.  
Rainbow Dash: She isn't-?  
Fluttershy: No, no. She just had her rabies shots.  
Rainbow Dash: That does it! No one scratches up one of my friends and gets away with it!

(Rainbow Dash zooms off.)

Fluttershy: Rainbow Dash, wait! It's too dangerous!

(Cut to the gang as they have just finished up one of the real world scenes when Fluttershy stumbles in with bandages around her arms, and a large band-aid on her face.)

Fluttershy: Um... Guys... We've got a problem... If... If you're not too busy.

(Fluttershy falls over.)

Hagrid: Huh?

(Cut to the gang checking on Fluttershy as Doug uses a tricorder.)

Doug: Well, according to this, those cuts aren't dangerous, or bad enough to leave scars, but they sure took a lot of energy out of her.  
Hagrid: So let me get this straight, a tiger is roaming free throughout the studio?  
Fluttershy: Yes.  
Hagrid: Well, where's Rainbow?  
Fluttershy: She went after Khan, but something's wrong, and I know it's not rabies.  
Rainbow Dash: OH GOD! MOMMY! MOMMY!  
Rarity: It's from the kitchen!

(They go there and find Rainbow Dash with claw marks as well as she's shivering.)

Rainbow Dash: Oh Danny-Boy. The pipes... The pipes are calling...  
Fluttershy: Just stay still, Rainbow. I was afraid of this. Khan's caught the rough cut flu.  
Rarity: Um... Excuse me?  
Fluttershy: It's an extremely rare breed of the flu. For tigers and other felines, it drives them nuts for a day, and if they scratch humans, they'll get a really bad case of twenty-four hour flu.  
Hagrid: Wait. You were scratched up. How come you're not infected?  
Fluttershy: My family's lived with these animals since before I was born. The flu will take awhile to get through my blood.  
Doug: Well what do we do? Where is it now?  
Fluttershy: I don't know. I locked the animals down in the energy room. There's no way Khan can get in.  
Doug: Good. Hagrid, we've gotta evacuate the studio for a day to let the virus run its course.  
Hagrid: Are you crazy?! We've only got three days to film this! I can't give up one of 'em!  
Doug: Then we have to catch it!  
Hagrid: We don't have time!  
Doug: If we don't catch it, we'll all get that crazy flu, and we will lose a day, or possibly even a limb!  
Hagrid: You can't-  
Doug: Yes I can! I'm off this project until that tiger's caught.

(Doug is about to leave when he turns to Hagrid.)

Doug: Hagrid, at the risk of inflating your ego, I'll say that there's greatness in you, but there's not an ounce of humility. You think making this movie's so important, well follow that attitude, and you could get yourself and everyone in this building killed. Now, we've got a tiger to catch.

(Cut to everyone but Trixie, Sunset, and the kids getting suited up in Clone Trooper gear as Fluttershy begins coughing as Rainbow Dash is puking into the trash can.)

Twilight: Wish you could go with us to try and calm Khan down.  
Fluttershy: I'm too sick. It wouldn't work anyway. Khan's rallied himself into a frenzy. As the flu runs its course, he'll get very... Very angry.  
Applejack: Hence, this here Star Wars armor.  
Rarity: Quite right. Well... It's now or never.

(They look around as Doug begins shaking.)

Doug: Guys, thanks for doing this.  
Pinkie: No problem. You know why?  
John: Oh, not this again.  
Pinkie: _We're your friends...  
_Chris: _We're your friends...!  
_Rarity: _We're your friends to the bitter end...  
_John (sighing): _The bitter end...  
_Rarity & Chris: _When you're alone, (When you're alone...)  
Who comes around, (Who comes around...)  
To pluck you up  
When you are down? (When you are down...?)  
_Everyone: _And when you're outside looking in,  
Who's there to open the door?  
That's what friends are for!  
Who's always eager to extend  
A friendly claw...?!  
That's what friends are for!  
And when you're lost in dire need,  
Who's at your side at lightning speed?  
We're friends with every creature coming down the pike!  
In fact we never met an animal we didn't like!  
_Doug: _Didn't... Like...!  
_Everyone:_ So you can see, we're friends!  
We're friends in need and friends indeed!  
Oh friends indeed!  
We'll be your friends, forever more!  
_Doug: _That's... What... Friends... Are... For...  
_  
(Everyone smiles as they arrive at the door where the animals are when Khan arrives, snarling. Cut to Brian as he hears this.)

Brian: Khan, just calm down. Don't do something you'll regret! Khan!

(Cut to the other side as Doug charges with a blaster on stun, but Khan jumps Doug and slashes through the armor, growling fiercely as he's tossed aside as Khan snarls and walks off.)

Brian (VO): Hey... Hey, what happened?  
Twilight: Khan got Doug.  
Brian: ... KHAN! KHAN!

(Hagrid hears this and rushes to where the others are along with the others as Doug's gasping.)

Hagrid: Guys, where's Doug?!  
Doug: Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch, like me.  
Hagrid: Doug, Doug!  
Doug: ... Hagrid? How is everyone?  
Hagrid: They're out of danger.  
Doug: Good.  
Hagrid: If it wasn't for that armor, you'd have been killed saving everyone.  
Doug: It's what any of us would've done. It was only logical... I'm scared guys. Help me not be. How are people in the military and the like able to choose to ignore fear, pain, all that stuff?  
Hagrid (tearing up): I don't know. Right now, I'm failing.  
Doug: Hagrid... I want you to know why I wanted to make sure Khan was stopped. It's not because I don't appreciate the stuff we do here. It's-  
Hagrid: I know. Because we are friends.  
Doug: So tired...

(Doug passes out.)

Twilight: He'll be alright, but if it wasn't for that armor... Hagrid?  
Hagrid: ... KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!

(Hagrid takes Doug to where the others are and takes up a Captain Rex costume.)

Hagrid: We've got a tiger to pen up. Sunset, Trixie, girls, you keep the others comfortable.

(The group heads off.)

Sunset: So... What do you need?

(Doug and Rainbow Dash go to the trash can again.)

Fluttershy: At this... At this point, it's just sleeping and... That.  
Trixie: Right. Um... If you guys feel up to eating, let us know.  
Applebloom: Well if they weren't hungry when they got here, they'll be hungry when this is over.

(Cut to the others as they begin following scratch marks.)

Twilight: This is bad. I talked to Fluttershy, near the end, he stops transferring the flu. Instead...  
Applejack: And we left 'em completely unprotected!  
Hagrid: Move!

(They rush forward. Cut to the room as the group begins coming around, but not enough to really do much as there's scratching at the door.)

Sunset: Oh boy.  
Doug: Think we're safe?  
Fluttershy: I don't know at this point.

(Khan begins clawing through the door.)

Rainbow Dash: Crud...

(Khan breaks through and roars as the five girls get the sick into a corner and try to edge out as Khan comes up to them, snarling.)

Fluttershy: Guys... Don't blame Khan. He's just as sick as any of us.  
Doug: ... I know.  
Rainbow Dash: This is it. After all the stuff we've dealt with... We get killed by a sick tiger.

(Khan stops and turns around as Chris has clutched its tail.)

Chris: Whoa!

(The others rush in and get the sick to the lounge as they come out and watch.)

Pinkie: Alright, Chris! You can let go now!  
Chris: Are you kidding?! There's teeth on the other end!

(Khan snarls angrily as Chris loses his grip and trips as Khan goes up to him and slashes at him, cutting through the armor like it was the plastic costume it started as until Hagrid and Pinkie stun it with their blaster riffles. However, Chris is lying there, motionless.)

Scootaloo: Chris? Chris, get up. Oh, please get up.

(Everyone looks on sadly, taking off their helmets as they watch, Chris is cut up bad.)

Applebloom: Come on now. We still gotta get ta Sweet Apple Acres and have a nice dinner.  
John: Uh... Girls...  
Sweetie Belle: John, please tell us that he's not...  
John: Now, we've got to be brave, like Chris was.  
Applejack: Oh no...  
John: I think it's safe to say that this spot where Chris fell will always be a place of honor in this studio.

(Chris opens his eyes a little, and stirs with no one noticing.)

John: The memory of Chris' sacrifice for all of us will be a testament to bravery throughout the whole county.  
Chris (weakly): Oh... That's beautiful...  
John: Come on. I think we all need some time to rest.  
Chris: Hey, wait a minute. What about me?

(Everyone finally notices Chris as he manages to lift himself up a little.)

John: WHY YOU FRAUD! Y-YOU IDIOT! I AM FED UP WITH-

(Everyone laughs and pats Chris on the shoulder as they dress up his injuries. Cut to Sweet Apple Acres as everyone and their families are gathered there.)

Doug: And with the security cameras we managed to use our money to place everywhere, we put the video up, and everyone loved it. So, I am thankful for these friends and a crazy guy named Hagrid Dash for putting us all through this.

(Everyone cheers as Khan comes up sadly.)

Fluttershy: Oh, hey Khan. It's okay. Everyone knows you didn't mean to do all those bad things.

(Everyone smiles and gets to eating.)

The End.


	3. Bugie

**Equestria Preteens**

**Season 5**

Episode 3: Bugie

(It opens with a seven-year-old green boy with black hair with his parents.)

Hagrid (narrating): Once upon a time, there was a little boy who lived with his parents in the city where dreams come true, Los Angeles. It was a pretty humble place, but they were happy, because while his family were grand performers, they preferred humble surroundings. On his birthday, as he was beginning a career in performing, the little boy's parents sat him down to talk, just as any parent would in such matters.  
Mrs. Bugie: _Listen son,  
You're growing up so quickly.  
Growing up,  
Bigger by the day...  
_Mr. Bugie: _Although we want you here,  
You have made this very clear.  
_Mrs. Bugie: _Now you're seven...  
_Mr. Bugie: _Now you're seven...  
_Mr. and Mrs. _Bugie: So it's time,  
To go and play.  
_  
(The little boy hops up and down excitedly.)

Mr. Bugie: _Your mother packed a sandwich for your trip.  
_Mrs. Bugie: _Your father packed your boots in case of snow.  
_Mr. & Mrs. Bugie: _You're gonna make us proud!  
Our applause, they will be loud!  
_Mrs. Bugie: _Just remember...  
_Mr. Bugie: _Just remember...  
_Mr. & Mrs. Bugie: _This advice that you must know...  
It's a big, bright beautiful world,  
With happiness all around.  
It's peaches and cream,  
And you feel like you can't fall...  
But not for all...!  
It's a big bright beautiful world.  
With possibilities everywhere.  
And just around the bend,  
There's a friend to call...  
But not for all...!  
_Mrs. Bugie: _We're famous, son,  
Which sometimes makes life harder.  
People love to think  
They need to understand...  
_Mr. Bugie: _And when they look at us,  
They tend to make a fuss.  
_Mrs. Bugie: _They will always hound.  
_Mr. & Mrs. Bugie: _And chase us all around...  
_Mr. Bugie: _It's important that you find a way to stay calm.  
_Mrs. Bugie: _Something that keeps you well grounded.  
_Mr. Bugie: _And if they happen by, try not to terrify them.  
_Mrs. Bugie: _If you do son...  
_Mr. Bugie: _If you do son...  
_Mr. & Mrs. Bugie: _Then you'll wish that you were dead.  
_  
(The little boy heads off as the parents wave.)

Mr. & Mrs. Bugie: _Good-bye...  
_Mrs. Bugie: _We'll visit after our next shoot...  
_  
(Cut to the little boy on the set as Mrs. Dash arrives and hands him a note as he stares.)

Hagrid (narrating): And so the little boy began his performance, however, barely into the show, his mother's sister arrived with a sad bit of news. His mother and father had died in a horrible accident. As such, the little boy left Los Angeles and went to live with his aunt's family. There he stayed for many years, building a wall around his heart that kept out all his friends, even his cousin, who was the closest thing to a sister he ever had. All alone, which was just the way he liked it!

(Cut to Hagrid leaving his house happily.)

Hagrid: _Keep your big bright beautiful world!  
I'm happy where I am, all alone!  
I've got all I need, So read the stinking signs!  
_  
(Hagrid waltzes through town passing several people, not caring if they stare at him like he's a nut or not.)

Hagrid: _Keep your big bright beautiful world!  
I party on my own, anyway!  
Doing what I can with a one man conga line!  
Yeah, your big bright beautiful world.  
Is of teddy bears and unicorns.  
Take your fluffy fun and shove it where the sun don't shine!  
I prefer a life like this.  
It's not that complicated.  
_  
(Hagrid walks past a video review of a film called Sleigh Bell Blues, and the reviewer is tearing it to shreds.)

Hagrid: _So I'm destined to be lonely,  
And I'm destined to be hated.  
If you read the books,  
They say it's why I was created,  
But I don't care!  
'Cause being liked  
Is grossly overrated!  
Who needs a big bright beautiful world?!  
I've got my own little patch of the world!  
It's not a big, bright beautiful world...  
But it's mine...!  
Oh yes, it's mine!  
And it's mine...!  
All... Mine . . .!  
_  
(Cut to a dark room as a figure obscured by light is talking to people off screen.)

Figure: I have a report from within the Guild. Fifteen people have come to our attention regarding a plot that could jeopardize the Swedish Actors Guild. Hagrid Dash and his team have continued to parody films and have refused our demands to halt their demo reel. While they are still small, they are becoming more and more aware of their talent. Our analysis indicates there is a danger. I recommend sending several Guild agents to their location to stop them by any means possible.  
Man (VO): Uh... When did you send the warning?  
Figure: After that Jungle Book thing they did that also referenced Wrath of Khan.  
Woman (VO): Oh yeah! That was hilarious and heartwarming!  
Figure: Dudes!

(Cut to the studio as Hagrid arrives.)

Hagrid: So guys, before we hear my brilliant idea, how's that big hit of ours doing?  
Doug: Really great according to YouTube. They're hoping we do more like these. Of course we'll still do the parody stuff to keep our minds shop, right?  
Hagrid: Well yeah, but they're not full on parodies. We're just fixing plot holes. Like in Star Trek the Motion Picture.  
Doug: What plot holes did we fix when we did that? We just drew more attention to the plot holes and used the TOS series uniforms. I think we should start being honest with ourselves. We have a serious problem. Our biggest hit was a complete accident.  
Hagrid: ... You're right. You're right. Writing's on the wall. I admit it. I got it, but that is why I think our salvation lies in Cloudsdale.  
Fluttershy: Um... Hagrid... What's that?  
Hagrid: It's where the Dash family reunion is happening.  
Doug: Why do you want us at your family reunion?  
Hagrid: To promote ourselves, and to try our hands at a musical.  
Applejack: What musical?  
Hagrid: ... I don't know yet.  
John: So let me get this straight. You're going to try filming a musical during your family reunion, and you don't even know what musical you want to do yet.  
Hagrid: Yup.  
Twilight: Yeah, we're not going.  
Pinkie: Aw.  
Hagrid: Come on, how are we gonna get our name out there without doing this?  
Doug: Hagrid... You're my friend. You're one of my best friends, but we've kinda backed ourselves into a corner with Demo Reel here. It was fun while it lasted, but I think we should end on a high note.  
Hagrid: Come on. You can't end just because you think we reached our apex.  
Rarity: Actually, it's more than that. We barely have any money for this, and what money we do have usually goes to more important things, it's... Well...  
Rainbow Dash: Demo Reel's dead, man! Our videos are only viewed with mild interest, and this thing is actually losing money.  
Chris: You could've been a bit more diplomatic about it.  
Rainbow Dash: I'm not a diplomat.  
Hagrid: So that's it then? All this has just been a giant waste of time.  
Fluttershy: Um... I wouldn't say that.

(Hagrid smiles as Fluttershy thinks.)

Fluttershy: Um... Uh... We got some work experience.

(Hagrid storms out.)

Doug: Hagrid, come on! Maybe we can start over.  
Hagrid: Why? This place is perfect the way it is. You know, ever since I was a kid, I dreamed of making movies better.  
Doug: And you're just parodying them! We're not making them better; we're making fun of them! You're killing the very things that you love.  
Hagrid: Yeah? Well maybe they had it coming.  
Doug: They? Who are you talking about?  
Hagrid: You guys are the detectives. You figure it out.

(Chris pulls up the boom box.)

Sunset: No.  
Chris: Oh, but-  
Trixie: No.  
Chris: Just the narration?  
Applebloom: No.  
Chris: Whistle?  
Sweetie Belle: No.  
Chris: Hum?  
Scootaloo: Alright, hum.

(Chris hums the A-Team theme.)

Hagrid (groaning): Now if you'll excuse me. Rainbow and I have a family reunion to get to.  
Rainbow Dash: Right. Um... See you guys soon... Hopefully.

(Cut to Cloudsdale as the Dashes arrive there, and they get two rooms as Rainbow Dash and Hagrid flop onto the bed.)

Rainbow Dash: You know, Hagrid, you kinda blew a fuse back home. Are you sure you're alright?  
Hagrid: I'm fine.  
Rainbow Dash: So... We gonna film a musical or what?  
Hagrid: What's the point? You heard the guys. Plus, you agree with them.  
Rainbow Dash: Since when has a disagreement between us ever stopped you before?  
Hagrid: I don't know. Maybe... Maybe we should just enjoy the reunion.  
Rainbow Dash: ... Yeah. We can do that. Plus, I've still got a couple cameras, so we could just do a home movie sort of thing.  
Hagrid: ... Sounds like a plan, Sis.

(The two look around the hotel. They go to a gift shop as Hagrid puts a teddy bear in front of the camera.)

Hagrid: Sis, I know you'd love this, right?  
Rainbow Dash: Get that out of my face, you jerk! ... OH MY GOSH, WOODY!

(Rainbow Dash goes to a Woody toy from Toy Story.)

Rainbow Dash: Cool, it even has a pull string!

(The two chuckle a little as Hagrid grabs a Buzz Lightyear, and they buy both. Cut to the clubhouse as Doug sets up a camera as he and Twilight are there.)

Doug: Investigation log, December 20, 2011. Hagrid's become really weird, even for Hagrid. Our attempts to see if something in his past is causing this has hit an intriguing road block. Hagrid Dash does not exist.  
Twilight: No birth certificate. No records. Technically, he hasn't even gone to middle school or high school.  
Doug: Something very weird is going on, here, and we're gonna need the whole gang to figure it out-

(Doug's cell phone rings.)

Doug: Hello?  
Figure (statically): Mr. Halbeisen?  
Doug: Yeah...  
Figure (statically): Do you like parodying movies?  
Doug: ... Well, there's some debate about that, actually.  
Figure: Are you at home?  
Doug: Yeah...  
Figure: With your friend, Twilight Sparkle?  
Doug: ... Yeah...  
Twilight: Don't tell him yeah!  
Doug: What was I supposed to do?!  
Figure: And your other friends? Where are they?  
Doug: They're at the studio trying to clean up the place for when Hagrid and Rainbow Dash come back from their family reunion.  
Figure: That's all I needed to know.

(The figure hangs up.)

Doug: Wait, hey! Who are you?!  
Twilight: We gotta call them!

(Twilight pulls out her phone and dials.)

Pinkie (statically): Hi! This is Pinkie Pie! Leave a message after the-  
Doug: We gotta get to the studio.  
Twilight: Right!

(Cut to the reunion as Hagrid is eating a pizza.)

Rainbow Dash: You okay, Bro?  
Hagrid: Fine.  
Rainbow Dash: ... Look, I think it was really brave of you to come to this after... You know.  
Hagrid: Thanks.  
Rainbow Dash: Hey, you know, if you wanna talk, you've got a whole family of people here who would be glad to talk about it with you... And me.  
Hagrid: Maybe in a bit... Hey, you wanna hear an idea I was swishing around in my head?  
Rainbow Dash: ... Go for it.  
Hagrid: Me and Doug, even before we started Demo Reel were talking about ideas for Dragonball Movie reboots. Basically, doing them all as trilogies, filming them together like the Lord of the Rings, but doing post production of them one at a time and using the narrator at the beginning and end like in the show.  
Rainbow Dash: That's actually pretty cool.  
Hagrid: ... That's what we should do when we're not doing parodies! Develop that Dragonball idea! Get a story overview sort of thing in the works! God, I can't believe we forgot about that!  
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I know!  
Hagrid: I believe this calls for tacos!

(The two laugh, excitedly. Cut to Doug and Twilight as they're walking down the street as Doug's still holding the camera as a car is near them by the street.)

Doug: Investigation log, supplemental. We're heading over to the studio after that weird phone call. We're worried about everybody there. I don't know what's going on here, but...

(Doug stops and looks at the car as it's following their walk.)

Twilight: Come on, Doug. You're just being paranoid.  
Doug: Probably. Things have just been really weird lately. From Thanksgiving to now.  
Twilight: Doug... Buddy... We spent the last four years uncovering crooks in fancy costumes. This is not weird.

(The car keeps following them as it slows down.)

Twilight: Now it's weird.

(They begin running as two men shove the two down.)

Doug: Who are you?

(They go to the two. Cut back to Hagrid and Rainbow Dash talking over tacos.)

Rainbow Dash: So... What's eating you, Bro?  
Hagrid: ... Just thinking of Mom and Dad. Remember that movie they starred in together, Burnt Souls?  
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, classic.  
Hagrid: ... I miss 'em.  
Rainbow Dash: I know, Bro. I know.

(They hug. Cut to the studio as Fluttershy is on the couch looking sadly out the window.)

Pinkie: Hi, Fluttershy! Everything okay?  
Fluttershy: Um... Well... Do you promise to keep it a secret?  
Pinkie & Chris: Cross our hears and hope to cry! Stick a cupcake in our eyes!  
Fluttershy: ... I like Hagrid.  
Pinkie: Aw... Since when?  
Fluttershy: Since I first met him.

(Cut to when Fluttershy was eight, and she bumps into Rainbow Dash with an eight-year-old Hagrid as she's nervous. Cut to later as she's reading a book of fairy tales to her animals.)

Fluttershy: Gather around, everyone. It's story time.  
_There's a princess in a tower.  
Hope to see it from Disney.  
Poor Rapunzel needs a haircut,  
But the witch won't set her free.  
She passes time by singing,  
Like someone else I know.  
As years go by, she sits and waits.  
As years go by? ... Uh-oh.  
A torturous existence?  
She wishes she were dead?!  
Skip ahead! Skip ahead!  
_  
(Fluttershy quickly goes to the end of the story as she's shaking as she sighs at the end.)

Fluttershy: _But... In the end Rapunzel finds a millionaire.  
The prince is good at climbing and braiding golden hair.  
So I know he'll appear.  
'Cause there are rules and there are scriptures.  
I believe the storybooks I read by candle light.  
My white knight, and his steed,  
Will look just like these pictures.  
It won't be long now! I guarantee!  
Day number... Twenty-three...  
I know it's today...  
I know it's today..._

(Cut to shortly after the gang found the Spells of Asteroth as Fluttershy is reading to her animals again.)

Fluttershy: Oh, here's a good one. It's a classic._  
There's a princess in a coma.  
Glad it's her instead of me.  
Pretty maiden in a glass case.  
How, I wonder, does she breathe?  
Oh my goodness. Poison apples.  
And that scary evil queen.  
Oh how cute, the seven dwarfs are on the scene.  
Skip ahead. Skip ahead.  
_  
(Fluttershy goes to the end again.)

Fluttershy: _But... In the end the princess wakes up with a start.  
The prince is good at kissing and melting Snow White's heart.  
So I know he'll appear.  
And his armor will be blinding!  
As shining as his perfect teeth  
And manly pose!  
He'll propose on one knee.  
And our love, it will be binding!  
About time we had our real first date!  
Day number... Nine hundred and fifty-eight.  
I know it's today...  
He'll show up today...!  
_  
(Cut to the present.)

Fluttershy: _There's a princess! Any princess!  
Take your pick. They're all like me.  
Not exactly. I'm still waiting.  
They're out living happily.  
Ever after better get here.  
I want love in seconds flat.  
_  
(Fluttershy grabs an old magazine with a comic version of Cinderella in it.)

Fluttershy: _No one needs these middle bits.  
_  
(Fluttershy roughly turns the page as it rips.)

Fluttershy: _Oops. Did I do that?  
_  
(She then smiles and begins shredding the magazine to pieces.)

Fluttershy: _Cut the villains. Cut the vamping. Cut this fairy tale.  
Cut to peril and the pitfalls. Cut the puppet in the whale.  
Cut the monsters! Cut to curses!  
Keep the intro! Cut the verses!  
And the waiting! The waiting! THE WAITING!  
_  
(Fluttershy snaps out of it and sees the mess she made as she puts her head down.)

Pinkie: _But we know he'll appear.  
Though you seem a bit bi-polar.  
_Fluttershy: _And I'm a vandal now as well.  
Hope he won't mind.  
_Chris: _You're a find. You're a catch.  
_Pinkie: _And a very gifted bowler.  
_Pinkie & Chris: _It won't be long now!  
We guarantee!  
_Fluttershy: _Day number...  
Are you there God?  
It's me Fluttershy.  
_Pinkie & Chris: _It's her, Fluttershy!  
_Pinkie, Chris, & Fluttershy: _Now we know he'll appear!  
'Cause there are rules and there are scriptures!  
We believe the storybooks we read by candlelight!  
Her/My white knight, Her/My knight and his steed  
Will look just like these pictures!  
It won't be long know!  
We guarantee!  
_Fluttershy: _Day number... Eight thousand, four hundred, and twenty-three...  
_Chris: _I know it's today...  
_Pinkie: _I know it's today...  
_Fluttershy: _I know it's today...  
_Chris: _I know it's today...  
_Pinkie: _I know it's today...  
_Fluttershy: _I know it's today...  
_Fluttershy, Chris, & Pinkie: _We know it's today . . .!  
_Fluttershy: Thanks you two. I needed that.  
Pinkie: No problem! Everything's all okey-dokey-Loki!

(Just then, they hear a bump.)

Fluttershy: Um... Did you hear that?  
Pinkie: Yeah. Maybe Fluffy and Thomas are on a date.

(The others come up.)

Applejack: Y'all heard that there thump?  
Fluttershy: Yeah.  
Applebloom: Let's do some investigatin'!

(Cut to Hagrid and Rainbow Dash at lunch with their relatives talking as Hagrid's in a blue button up shirt.)

Rainbow Dash: Nice shirt.  
Hagrid: Thanks.

(Rainbow Dash raises an eyebrow about how Hagrid still seems to be down. Cut to the gang at the door.)

Sunset: Hello?

(Twilight and Doug come to the window, very bloody.)

Trixie: HOLY CHEESE!

(Applejack opens the door as the two fall into the room.)

Applejack: Good gravy, you two! What happened?!

(The two pass out.)

Sunset: Oh my god, they've been shot! What do we do?! What do we do?!  
Pinkie: Wait! I know what to do!

(Pinkie rubs some of the blood onto her finger and tastes it.)

Pinkie: Hey, try it. It's sweet.

(Applejack tries it.)

Applejack: Hey, this aint blood. It's blueberry syrup. Smells like pancakes.  
Twilight: Swedish pancakes. They forced 'em down our throats and then pelted us with them when we stumbled off. Said it was a warning.  
Sunset: Who?  
Doug: I think they were part of SWAG.  
Pinkie: Who's that?  
Doug: The Swedish Actors Guild. They felt threatened by our last flick, and they sent a message to me and Hagrid telling us to stop. We ignored it since they didn't really have a leg to stand on.  
Rarity: What do we do?  
John: We hunker town. Good thing we keep the fridge well stocked. The least we can do is keep ourselves from starving.

(Cut to the hotel room as Hagrid's there with Rainbow Dash.)

Rainbow Dash: You still upset?  
Hagrid: Yeah. Mostly because of how I left things with the others.  
Rainbow Dash: Hey, we all said things in the heat of the moment we didn't really mean. So, anything else on your mind?  
Hagrid: Since when are you Deanna Troi?  
Rainbow Dash: I'm just trying to talk to you. You've been running from the problem for ten years-  
Hagrid: I've got things handled.  
Rainbow Dash: Dude, what is your problem with people trying to help you?!  
Hagrid: Look, I'm not the one with the problem! It's the world that'll have the problem with me if I drop the whole Hagrid Dash thing! ... Ever since the accident, everyone who saw me just yelled at me for one bad film, and it wouldn't even matter if they knew what had happened! I just... I wanted to be able to choose who I could be, okay?!  
Rainbow Dash: ... So, who would you choose to be?  
Hagrid: _I guess I'd be a hero.  
With sword and armor clashing.  
Looking semi-dashing.  
A shield within my grip.  
Or else I'd be a Viking.  
And live a life of daring.  
Out smelling like a herring.  
Upon a Viking ship.  
I'd sail away. I'd see the world.  
I'd reach the farthest reaches.  
I'd feel the wind. I'd taste the salt and sea.  
And maybe storm some beaches.  
That's who I'd be. That's who I'd be.  
Or I could be a poet,  
And write a different story.  
One that tells of glory  
And wipes away the lies.  
Into the skies I'd throw it.  
The stars would do the telling.  
The moon would help with spelling.  
And night would dot the eyes!  
I'd write a verse, recite a joke,  
With wit and perfect timing!  
I'd share my heart.  
Confess the things I yearn!  
And do it all while rhyming!  
But we all learn... But we all learn...!  
An outcast always hides.  
An outcast's fate is known.  
An outcast always stays in the dark  
And all alone!  
So yes I'd be a hero!  
And if my wish were granted,  
Life would be enchanted,  
Or so the stories say.  
Of course I'd be a hero,  
And I would scale a tower  
To safe a hothouse flower  
And carry her away!  
But standing guard would be a beast.  
I'd somehow overwhelm it.  
I'd get the girl. I'd take a breath,  
And I'd remove my helmet!  
We'd stand and stare!  
We'd speak of love!  
We'd feel the stars ascending!  
We'd share a kiss!  
I'd find my destiny!  
I'd have a hero's ending!  
A perfect happy ending!  
That's how it would be...!  
A big, bright, beautiful world...!  
But not for me...  
_  
(Cut to Fluttershy as she stares out the window.)

Fluttershy: _An outcast always hides.  
An outcast's fate is known.  
An outcast always stays in the dark.  
_  
(Cut to Rainbow Dash going to Hagrid and putting a hand on his shoulder.)

Rainbow Dash: _You're not alone!  
_  
(Cut to a split screen of the two locations.)

Fluttershy & Hagrid: _Not alone!  
_Fluttershy & Hagrid: _And I know he'll appear! (So yes I'd be a hero,)  
'Cause there are rules and there are scriptures! (And if my wish were granted, life would be enchanted, or so the stories say!)  
I believe the story books I read by candlelight! (Of course I'd be a hero, and I would scale a tower,)  
My white knight, my knight and his steed, (To save a hot house flower)  
Will look just like these pictures...! (And carry her away...!)  
_Hagrid, Rainbow Dash, & Fluttershy:_ A perfect happy ending!  
That's how... It... Should BE . . .!  
_  
(Cut to the studio kitchen as everyone has an apple and a soda.)

John: So, you get a good look at the guy?  
Doug: They wore masks.  
Applejack: What the hay were ya doin' out there?  
Twilight: We thought they were after you guys. Did you notice anything weird today?  
Pinkie: Ooh! Ooh!

(Pinkie goes to the computer and pulls up the security recordings as she gets a call.)

Pinkie: Hi!  
Figure (statically): Go to the window.  
Pinkie: Ooh... Is Mr. Crabtree plugging in the lamp from Christmas Story already?!  
Figure: Just go to the window.  
Pinkie: Okay!

(Pinkie hops over to the window and sees a guy in a scream outfit.)

Figure: Do you like parodying movies?  
Pinkie: Yeah! It's really fun! I can't wait to do more Star Trek stuff! I really like the Scotty thing where he makes the Excelsior do those cartoony sound effects! Oh! And a lot of people call Jar-Jar Binks annoying, but I don't think he's that bad, and-  
Figure: SHUT UP! ... You won't like parodying movies for long. Ooh... Is that your spine starting to shiver?  
Pinkie: Is that your car being towed?  
Figure: Oh crud!

(The figure rushes off. Cut back to reality.)

Sunset: And you didn't think that was weird?  
Pinkie: No. I just thought he liked doing Christmas Jack Skellington style. He never came back.  
Twilight: That's probably because he was too busy turning us into Denny's grand slam. And stuffing us with pancakes like one of those old Warner Brothers cartoons.  
Doug: I just don't get it. Why now?  
John: Don't you get it? Hagrid and Rainbow are gone. You and Twilight were out. They're trying to separate us.  
Fluttershy: Oh... My.

(Cut back to the hotel room as the two are on their beds.)

Rainbow Dash: Hey Bro?  
Hagrid: Yeah Sis?  
Rainbow Dash: ... I'm glad I get to call you, Bro.  
Hagrid: ... I'm glad I get to call you, Sis.  
Rainbow Dash: I know you think Hollywood's got it coming, but... Hollywood didn't kill them, Hagrid.  
Hagrid: ... I know. We'll talk about changes to the place when we get back. That whole start from scratch thing.

(Cut to the studio as the gang gets ready.)

Sunset: Let's beat these guys up!  
Twilight: For once I'm with you! I'll never be able to look at a pancake the same way again.  
Sunset: Then let's do this.

(They hear an extremely loud thump.)

Pinkie: Ooh... What was that?

(Pinkie hops off to look and is gone for a few minutes.)

Chris: Pinkie?  
Pinkie: WHOA!

(They rush after her. Cut to the hotel as they see a karaoke bar.)

Rainbow Dash: Come on! Let's have a song before we head off.  
Hagrid: I don't know.  
Rainbow Dash: Come on Bro, do it. Do it.  
Hagrid: Alright. Ooh, let's go with this one.

(The music starts, and they begin.)

Hagrid: _I thought love was only true in fairy tales.  
Meant for someone else, but not for me.  
Love was out to get me. That's the way it seemed.  
Disappointment haunting all my dreams...  
And then I saw her face! Now I'm a believer!  
Not a trace of doubt in my mind!  
I'm in love.  
_Rainbow Dash: _Ooh...  
_Hagrid: _I'm a believer!  
I couldn't leave her if I tried!  
_Rainbow Dash: _I thought love was more or less a given thing.  
The more I gave, the less I got.  
_Rainbow Dash & Hagrid: _What's the use of trying? All you get is pain.  
When I wanted sunshine, I got rain...  
_Hagrid: _Everybody!  
_Everybody: _Then I saw her face!  
Now I'm a believer!  
Not a trace of doubt in my mind!  
I'm in love.  
Ooh...  
I'm a believer!  
I couldn't leave her if I tried!  
_  
(They go on until Mrs. Dash comes up.)

Mrs. Dash: Kids, it's time we packed up to head home.  
Hagrid: Thanks very much, people. We'll be here, next year. Hopefully.

(They head out talking excitedly.)

Hagrid: I cannot believe this! I feel so pumped! YEAH!  
Rainbow Dash: Now that's the bro I know.  
Hagrid: Yeah.  
Mr. Dash: Well, we have some things to do after we get packed, so kiddo, think you're up for a solo plane ride?  
Hagrid: Oh yeah.

(Hagrid hugs his family good-bye as he gets in the cab.)

Hagrid: See you guys at home!  
Rainbow Dash: Later Bro!

(The cab drives off as another one comes up.)

Driver: So, you called for a Hagrid Dash?  
Rainbow Dash: Wait... If you're Hagrid's ride then... Mom, Dad, I've got a rescue mission on my hands! See you soon!

(Rainbow Dash goes off with her camera, wirelessly connected to the other one to allow her to track him. Cut to the cab as Hagrid's resting comfortably.)

Hagrid: Ah, that was nice, and hey, I can even splice together me and Rainbow's separate ways home for a cool traveling montage with this baby.

(Hagrid turns to the driver.)

Hagrid: So, how are you?

(The man holds a gun to his face.)

Hagrid: Oh no.

To Be Continued...


	4. The Blair Witch Hangover

**Equestria Preteens**

**Season 5**

Episode 4: The Blair Witch Hangover

(It opens with Doug in front of a camera.)

Doug: Hagrid, if you're seeing this, I just want you to know... I'm sorry. We're all sorry. We didn't know. How could we? Just know we get it now. We get it... Sort of.

(Cut to three days ago as Hagrid wakes up in the woods with only his clothes and the camera. Hagrid takes the camera and talks to the little picture as a way to keep going.)

Hagrid: Okay. Okay, don't panic. Don't... I WANT MY MOMMY!

(Cut to the present as the figure's talking to his unseen cohorts.)

Figure: Hagrid Dash will no longer be a nuisance to us. After my associate picked him up at gunpoint from Cloudsdale, he dropped him off in the middle of the woods where nobody can find him. Let's just say that the troubling nature of Demo Reel and Hagrid Dash will no longer be on our radar.  
Man (VO): Dude, what's wrong with you?!  
Figure: What?  
Woman (VO): You kidnapped a man at gunpoint and left him to die? That's freaking messed up!  
Figure: H-he was threatening our operation.  
Man: Guy, we're Swedish film makers! We parody films! We're not the gosh darn mafia!  
Woman: What are you, a psycho?  
Figure: But... But...  
Man: Dude, I don't even wanna look at you. The less I'm associated with you, the better.  
Woman: Yeah. I'm off to be an internet reviewer. They're mentally stable.

(The sound of a door opening and shutting happens.)

Figure: Wait! Wait, where are you going?! Does this mean you won't be at the Christmas party?!

(Cut to the studio as the gang's all asleep, and Twilight and Doug are right next to each other.)

Doug: Oh... I don't feel very well. Twilight, are you alive?  
Twilight: No.  
Doug: Me too. I can't feel my legs.  
Twilight: Me neither.

(Applejack gets up weakly.)

Applejack: That's because I was on 'em.  
Pinkie: Whoa... What happened?  
John: All I remember is SWAG, a scream, then we all went to check on... Wait... Where's Chris?  
Chris (VO): I'm in the toilet!  
Doug: So you're in the bathroom?  
Chris: No, I'm literally in the toilet! Help me!  
Rarity: How in blazes did you get stuck in the toilet?  
Chris: I don't know! I just woke up here!  
Sunset: Come on, Trixie.

(The two go to Chris, stuck in the toilet bottom first as they pull him out as he gasps.)

Chris: Thanks.  
Trixie: We're never speaking of this again.  
Chris: Okay.

(They get out.)

Fluttershy: Oh... girls? Girls, where are you?

(The girls come out of the kitchen, moaning.)

Sweetie Belle: I'm never touching a drop of whatever the heck we had again.  
Scootaloo: Oh...  
Fluttershy: What were you girls doing in the kitchen?  
Applebloom: Why are ya wearin' a shirt that says Drunk Drivers are Meanies?

(Fluttershy gets up and sees she's wearing an extra large t-shirt with those exact words over her regular clothes.)

Fluttershy: I don't know.  
Scootaloo: And why are Doug and Twilight dressed as Belle and the Prince from Beauty and the Beast?  
Doug: What? No we're not-  
Twilight: Oh yes we are.

(Twilight holds a mirror to the two.)

Doug: What the heck happened here?!

(They look and see a large contraption that none of them can explain.)

Chris: And what's that thing?!

(Cut to the gang at the computer room.)

Doug: Well, I gathered all the footage I could find from the past three days.  
Twilight: Yes guys, we've been out for that long.  
Chris: I got some apple cider for everyone.

(Everyone has some and sighs.)

Sunset: So... Any idea what happened?  
Doug: According to the security videos a lot of things happened, including this.

(Doug appears on the screen.)

Rarity: You know that blue suit actually does look ravishing on you.  
Doug: Shh!  
Doug: Hagrid, if you're seeing this, I just want you to know... I'm sorry. We're all sorry. We didn't know. How could we? Just know we get it now. We get it... Sort of.  
Trixie: What the hell does that mean?  
Doug: I don't know, but then there's this.

(Doug pulls up another video which is a title crawl reading "Dedicated to the memory of Paul and Elisa Bugie."

Pinkie: Who are Paul and Elisa Bugie?

(The crawl goes on to read "And our good friend Robert.")

Pinkie: And Robert? I don't know a Paul, Elisa, and Robert Bugie, and I know everybody in town.  
Sunset: She's not joking. She really does.  
Pinkie: Do you know a Robert, Doug?  
Doug: No. You John?  
John: No. Chris?  
Chris: I don't know anybody named Robert other than Robert Walker, and I'm only Facebook Friends with him.  
Trixie: So what's after this?  
Doug: A movie.  
Twilight: A movie?  
Doug: That we made.  
Rarity: When did we make a movie?  
Doug: I don't know, but we need context. Our only option is to watching everything that happened since Pinkie ran off in order. Then maybe we can figure out the biggest mystery of them all.  
Sunset: What's that?  
Doug: It's been three days. Where are Hagrid and Rainbow?

(Cut to three days ago as Rainbow Dash is on her cell phone.)

Rainbow Dash: Guys, guys, come in! Can you hear me?! Where could they be? GUYS! We've got a situation! Hagrid's been kidnapped! Can you hear me?!

(Cut to the present as Chris has just finished checking the messages.)

Chris: According to the answering machine, Rainbow called almost three days ago.  
Pinkie: What'd he say?  
Chris: Reception was horrible. All I could work out was that something's happened to Hagrid.  
Fluttershy: Oh my goodness.  
Doug: Then we have no choice. We need to go in order and see what happened.

(Cut to three days ago as they hear an extremely loud thump.)

Pinkie: Ooh... What was that?

(Pinkie hops off to look and is gone for a few minutes.)

Chris: Pinkie?  
Pinkie: WHOA!

(They rush after her. They find her in the storage room hugging a rather large man who has a suit on.)

Doug: Who are you?  
Man: I'm Marcone. I own da buildin'. Who are you?  
Pinkie: Guys, it's okay. This is one of the first friends I made when I moved to Canterlot! Mr. Marcone! He's who I talked to, to get us this studio.  
Marcone: I'm still amazed by how much ya sprouted up, kid.  
Pinkie: Aw... Thank you. This is Doug Halbeisen, Chris Mccool, John Brown, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack Apple, Rarity Belle, Fluttershy Bessey, Applebloom Apple, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Sunset Shimmer, and Trixie Lulamoon.  
Marcone: Nice ta meet ya.  
Pinkie: Hey, we were defending ourselves against a group of angry psychos who ruined pancakes for my friends Doug and Twilight forever, and we were about to drink and eat to give us something to do to keep us from going crazy locked up in here. Would you like to join us?  
Marcone: ... Yeah, sure. It wouldn't be the first time I've had that offer.  
Pinkie: Yay! Party!

(Cut to Hagrid walking around the woods.)

Hagrid: Okay, Director's Log. Date... I'm not sure how l was out, but I'll just keep you guys informed if you ever find this. I seem to be abandoned in the middle of the woods here. I don't know how far I am from Canterlot or Cloudsdale. No doubt those SWAG jerks me and Doug got those annoying messages from. I don't know what to do for sure. I'm not really a survivalist, but there's one thing that I do know, and that is film, so I've been saying to myself, "What would the kids from Blair Witch do?" And then I do the exact opposite because those guys were freaking idiots.

(Cut to later as Hagrid's still in the woods.)

Hagrid: Okay, so the first thing those kids from Blair Witch did is that they got lost for ten seconds, and they panicked, so I am not gonna panic. Which is easier said than done, but after having myself a good cry... Hold on.

(Cut to Hagrid crying in a corner.)

Hagrid: It's so scary! I want my bankie!

(Cut to him getting back to the camera.)

Hagrid: Okay, that was much better. But the good news is that since it's the beginning of winter, all the dangerous animals are hibernating. Though, it's... One of the greenest winters I've ever seen. Anyway, nothing in the woods can hear me and track me down-

(A howling is heard.)

Hagrid: ... Wolves?! Kansas has wolves?! ... I need another cry.

(Cut to Hagrid in a fetal position.)

Hagrid: I DON'T WANNA DIE A HIGH SCHOOL SOPHOMORE!

(Cut to Hagrid holding the camera again as he sees something and rushes to it.)

Hagrid: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! We've got a bottle here, people! A bottle! You guys know what that means? That means civilization! There's people out here! ... Rarity, if you say "There are people out here" ... You'll be making fun of a dead man, and that's not nice. Anyway, the bottle. Okay, I'm gonna read it to see if I can get some more information. Uh, let's see... "Army of Northern Virginia, Confederate States of America..." I don't think that's a good sign.

(Cut to Hagrid walking to a little later.)

Hagrid: Guys, in all sincerity, I really hope you guys are nice, safe, and happy right now, and if this doesn't find you until... A lot later... Merry Christmas.

(Cut to the gang at the studio.)

Pinkie: Hey, since we're all gonna be here for awhile, we got ourselves a mixed slumber party!  
Twilight: YAY! I always wanted one! ... Oh, but my book's back at home.  
Pinkie: Don't worry! Just trust Pinkie Pie! First off, soda truth or dare!  
Doug: What's that?  
Pinkie: It's like truth or dare, but if you pick dare, you have to drink as many cups of soda as the darer says.  
Marcone: Alright, let's get it on, kiddo.  
Pinkie: Okay, Mr. Marcone!  
Marcone: Truth or dare?  
Pinkie: Dare!  
Marcone: Okay, I dare you to drink three glasses of a little something I brought with me.

(Marcone pulls out a bag, bringing out a 64 ounce bottle of something called Flashwave.)

Marcone: This stuff makes Mountain Dew look like Sprite.  
Pinkie: Okay!

(Pinkie drinks the three glasses as nothing happens to her.)

Twilight: Wow. Looks like Pinkie's got a high caffeine level.  
Sweetie Belle: My turn!  
Pinkie: Okay. Truth or dare?  
Sweetie Belle: Dare!  
Pinkie: Okay, I dare you to drink half a cup.

(Sweetie Belle does so as she smiles. Cut to a few minutes later as she's running around hopping all over the place before Rarity grabs her.)

Rarity: Sweetie Belle, darling, darling, calm down. Calm down.  
Sweetie Belle: I don't think I can ever go back to coco!

(Applejack is eating spaghetti.)

Applejack: Man, Mr. Marcone, this sauce is terrific! What's your secret?  
Marcone: That's because the secret is in the oregano. I usually try to get it a little more spicy than normal to give the sauce that extra kick.  
Applebloom: Neat!

(Cut to the present as the gang continues to watch.)

Doug: Well at least we know what that sound outside was.  
Twilight: Keep going. Let's see what else happened that night.

(Cut to the forest three days ago at night.)

Hagrid: So, I've spent the last four hours trying to build a fire by rubbing two sticks together. Found out it doesn't really work when everything is so wet. So, I'm going to resort to keeping warm by the light of my cell phone.

(Cut to Hagrid doing so as it turns off.)

Hagrid: Stupid energy saver! Come on, my fingers are too numb to keep turning you on!

(Hagrid flops the phone down angrily.)

Hagrid: Why does this have to happen now?! Every time I begin to get a little ahead in life, something like this happens!  
_How long must this go on?!  
This cruel trick of fate?  
I simply made one careless  
Wrong decision!  
And then that jerk was gone  
And left me in this state!  
An object of revulsion  
And derision.  
Hated... Is there no one...  
Who can show me...  
How to win the world's... Forgiveness._

(Hagrid sighs sadly when he hears creepy laughter in the distance.)

Hagrid: Hello?! Hey, I'm lost! C-can you hear me?! Oh, I hope that's a girl.

(Cut to the next morning as Hagrid lays down near the camera.)

Hagrid: Okay, so obviously, if I'm gonna hang out here for a bit, I need food. I need to eat. So I've taken a bunch of acorns and leaves, and I dug a little hole and just set a little trap for a little woodland friend.

(He hears a squirrel scurry past and the snap of the box.)

Hagrid: Yes! I got him!

(Hagrid goes for the box as the squirrel's chatter is heard again.)

Hagrid: WHOA!

(Cut to later as Hagrid has the camera again.)

Hagrid: Okay, so interesting thing about squirrels. Apparently they're natural jumpers, and I don't mean like whoop just out of the hole in time, I mean like Luke Skywalker in Empire Strikes Back in the carbon freezer. Just like SHOOM! It's just unbelievable, but it's okay because you know what? I tracked him. He's not gonna get away from me that easily.

(Hagrid turns the camera towards a tree.)

Hagrid: Okay, I tracked him to this tree, and I need to find a way to climb up the tree.

(The squirrel jumps at Hagrid.)

Hagrid: AH! Oh god, this is the most embarrassing moment of my life!

(Cut to later as Hagrid's walking off.)

Hagrid: You know what? I heard squirrels are poisonous anyway.

(Cut to the studio as the gang continues to play Truth or Dare.)

Sunset: Okay, Mr. Marcone, truth or dare?  
Marcone: Truth.  
Sunset: Alright, anyone got a question for me?  
Doug: Okay. What was your first crush?  
Sunset: Well... This one day in third grade, I saw this guy named Flash Sentry, who looked a lot like my Uncle Frank-  
Everyone: DARE!  
Sunset: What?

(Cut to Hagrid kneeling near the camera.)

Hagrid: Okay. So I spooked a possum, and he appears to be playing dead. now here's the thing. I don't know if playing dead means he's just acting, and he's gonna like spring on me and try to attack me, or I thought I heard somewhere that they play dead so much that they'll play dead until they are dead. Like they just won't move. I'm gonna take a chance. I mean, chances are the first one isn't right anyway.

(Cut to a heavily disheveled Hagrid walking off.)

Hagrid: Yeah, the first one was correct. Apparently when they're playing dead, they are just playing dead waiting to strike. With teeth. Rows filled with shark-like teeth. But the plus side to that is that apparently they are no match for a shoe. Yeah, just an everyday common shoe thwacked against their furry little skulls seems to be their Kryptonite. Fluttershy, if you're watching this, please understand that I am in a very desperate situation here. So yeah, he's not gonna be bothering me again anytime soon.

(He begins breaking down. Cut to Hagrid walking again.)

Hagrid: Guys, if you can hear this, I want one of you to give the eulogy at my funeral. No doubt you were the only ones who were concerned when I was missing.

(Cut to the studio as Sunset stands near a karaoke machine.)

Sunset: _I can't believe I agreed to this. Alright, here goes.  
Something has changed within me.  
Something is not the same.  
I'm through with playing by  
The rules of someone else's game.  
Too late for second guessing.  
Too late to go back to sleep.  
It's time to trust my instincts,  
Close my eyes, and leap...  
It's time to try... Defying gravity.  
I think I'll try... Defying gravity,  
And you can't pull me down.  
I'm through accepting limits  
'Cause someone says they're so.  
Some things I cannot change,  
But 'till I try, I'll never know!  
Too long I've been afraid of  
Losing love I guessed I'd lost.  
Well if that's love,  
it comes at much too high a cost...!  
I'd sooner buy... Defying gravity.  
Kiss me good-bye... I'm defying gravity,  
And you can't pull my down...  
So if you care to find me,  
Look to the western sky!  
As someone told me lately,  
Everyone deserves the chance to fly!  
And if I'm flying solo,  
At least I'm flying free.  
To those who'd ground me,  
Take a message back from me...!  
Tell them how I... Am defying gravity!  
I'm flying high... Defying gravity,  
And soon I'll match them in renown.  
And nobody in all of Oz,  
No Wizard that there is or was,  
Is ever gonna bring... Me... Down...!  
Bring... Me... DOWN...!  
OH . . .!_

(Sunset stops as everyone applauds.)

Chris: Dude, you've got some amazing pipes!  
Sunset: Thank you, thank you.  
Marcone: It was like listenin' ta that chick who took over for Idina Menzel.  
Sunset: And now it's your turn, Marcone. You gotta do that magic act you were talking about.  
Marcone: Fine, fine. Just give me a minute ta set up.

(Marcone walks off.)

Doug: Looks like if the high school ever does Wicked, you're a shoe-in for Elphaba.  
Sunset: Thank you.  
Doug: Hey Fluttershy, you alright? You've been awfully quiet tonight.  
Fluttershy: Um... I just kind of... Mm.  
Doug: Well just relax. I mean, it's not like we're going anywhere anytime soon.  
Twilight: Yeah. And even then the worst that'll happen is those SWAG people stuff us with more pancakes.  
Doug: Unless they actually go nuts and kill us all horribly one by one.  
Marcone: Yeah. I seen it happen. Ya have a grudge against a guy who's out a town, escalates like crazy.  
Doug: But we are absolutely okay unless they break in through one of the windows.

(Fluttershy runs off crying.)

Doug: Oops.  
Twilight: Great job, Doug.  
Doug: Let's go talk to her.  
Twilight: Right.  
Marcone: So we doin' this act or what?  
Pinkie: In a minute.  
Marcone: Alright.

(Cut to the second night as Hagrid is there when a wolf is heard again.)

Hagrid (sarcastically): Oh fantastic. Well, at least it's not that creepy little girl-

(He hears the giggling again.)

Hagrid (nervously): It's okay. There's no such thing as ghosts. That's what I keep telling myself. Th-there's no such thing as ghosts. (To himself) No such thing as ghosts. No such thing as ghosts.

(He turns the camera around and sees a girl in white staring at him creepily.)

Hagrid: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Cut to the present as the gang's still watching the footage. Cut to Twilight and Doug at the door of the bathroom.)

Doug: Fluttershy, I'm sorry. We didn't mean anything by what we said. I just sometimes talk without thinking.  
Fluttershy (VO): Go away, please. I'm busy.  
Doug: Doing what?  
Fluttershy: Mm.  
Doug & Twilight: Oh...

(They walk off as a figure's in the hallway. Cut to the present.)

Sunset: Whoa, who's that guy?

(Doug rewinds and zooms in on the area, but the shadows cover him up too much.)

Doug: I don't know.

(Cut to two days ago as Rainbow Dash is talking to an old man.)

Rainbow Dash: So this is the best way into these woods?  
Old Man: Well what ya lookin' for?  
Rainbow Dash: If this tracking device is right, my brother.

(Rainbow Dash begins to head in.)

Old Man: Hey, you can't go in there.  
Rainbow Dash: And why not?  
Old Man: They say there's a witch that died on Christmas Eve.  
Rainbow Dash: Oh, don't be an idiot!  
Old Man: Aren't ya scared?  
Rainbow Dash: Listen pal, if there's one thing I've learned is that whenever there's an old legend, nine times out of ten, it's just a legend.  
Old Man: Don't say I didn't warn ya.  
Rainbow Dash: And don't say I didn't call you an idiot.

(Cut to Hagrid with the camera.)

Hagrid: So uh, I realized I've got to get out of here. So what I did was that last night, I looked up to try and find the north star, but it was cloudy of course. So what I did was that when it was not cloudy for like ten seconds, I got the north side of this tree.

(Hagrid points the camera at it as a twig holds some berries in place.)

Hagrid: As you can see, I marked it with berries here. Uh... So that way, I know that this way is North, and I had one sheet of scratch paper, and I had one pen with just enough ink to get this message. "Gone north. Send help." So if anyone does come across this way, they'll see that tree, they'll read this note, and they'll find... What most likely will be my rotting corpse. Hopefully, we won't hear anymore of-

(The girl's giggling is heard again.)

Hagrid: ... That.

(Hagrid heads off. Cut to the studio as Fluttershy's there.)

Twilight: Look Fluttershy, we're really sorry. Is there anything we can do to make it up to you?  
Fluttershy: ... Well...

(Cut to Doug and Twilight dressed as the Prince and Belle from Beauty and the Beast standing with Marcone as Twilight holds a hat.)

Marcone: And now my lovely assistant will show you dat da hat is empty.

(Twilight shows them as the gang stares when Marcone reaches in and pulls out a rabbit.)

Everyone: Aw...

(Everyone applauds as Doug looks into the hat and reaches in as he pulls out Pinkie's head.)

Pinkie: Hi!  
Doug: Ah!

(Doug puts her back in as she reappears at her seat.)

Pinkie: I like when that happens.  
Sunset: Alright, now a musical number!  
Doug & Twilight: Huh?  
Sunset: Come on, I sang something. You guys sing too.  
Doug: Um... Alright.  
Twilight: _There's something sweet  
And almost kind.  
But he was mean, and he was course  
And unrefined!  
But now he's dear,  
And so unsure.  
I wonder why  
I didn't see it there before.  
_Doug: _She glanced this way,  
I thought I saw.  
And when we touched,  
She didn't shudder at  
My paw.  
No it can't be.  
I'll just ignore.  
But then she never looked at me  
That way before.  
_Twilight: _New... And a bit alarming.  
Who'd have ever thought that this could be...  
True... That he's no Prince Charming,  
But there's something in him that I simply didn't see...  
_  
(Cut to Hagrid walking.)

Hagrid: Okay, so in the Blair Witch, they came across a stream, and then they just walked right past it. This was stupid. All water leads... Somewhere. People set up around water because guess what? You need water to survive. So my thought is that I keep an eye out for a stream, listen for some water, follow that to some form of civilization, and hopefully, that will get me somewhere.

(Cut to Hagrid banging his head on a tree.)

Hagrid: There's no water! No water at all! Plenty of trees! Look at all the trees! (tearing up) Look at all the trees. B-but no water, no stream, no anything.

(Hagrid turns the camera to a small ditch in the ground.)

Hagrid: This looks like it used to be a stream, didn't it? Did it just dry up? Did this planet just turn into Tatooine or something from Star Wars?

(Cut to Hagrid leaning down at the camera without his hat.)

Hagrid: So I had what I thought was a little bit of a MacGyver moment. I-I used my hat and my socks, cut 'em up, and I put a rock in there as well as a means of collecting rain water, but guess what it's not doing? (Chuckling ironically) No rain. No rain at all. I don't know, it just seems like a world uninhabited by water. (tearing up) No god's tears today, but I can tell you right now, I'm gonna get some going!

(Hagrid begins crying. Cut to the studio as everyone's sitting around with Doug and Twilight having changed back to their normal outfits.)

Doug: Hey Fluttershy, I really am sorry about all that stuff I said earlier.  
Fluttershy: I know you were just nervous about the situation. We're fine. You looked great as Belle and the prince.  
Doug: Thanks.  
Twilight: Alright. I got one more soda truth or dare question.  
Doug: Okay, the truth has always gotten me into trouble in here, so why not now? Truth.  
Twilight: ... Do you think we should really give up Demo Reel?  
Doug: Boy, now that's a toughie. I know I told Hagrid that we should, but in all honesty, I don't know. I mean, I joined this project of his with high hopes, but it just turned into... Well an accident caught on video got me more acclaim as a writer than what I was actually writing. I guess I'm lucky to have a creative outlet, but everybody says I'm mediocre, so... Maybe I should just do more of the detective stuff. After all, why write if only a handful of people think you're good?  
Fluttershy: Why wait for someone when only a handful of people think you should?

(Everyone looks around, hunkering down from Swedish terrorists, alone. Cut to the real world as everyone stares.)

Chris: My god this is depressing! And I'm the guy who always tries to find the bright spot! I'm gonna put on an episode of Friends, just so I know what it's like to laugh again!

(Cut to three days ago.)

Doug: You know what? Screw it. Let's drink.

(Doug tries to pour some more glasses, but the bottle of Flashwave is empty.)

Doug: Looks like we're out.  
Pinkie: Hey Mr. Marcone, you got any more?  
Marcone: Well as a former boy scout... I always come prepared!

(Marcone holds up an ever larger bottle of Flashwave.)

Doug: Oh wow. We're gonna need bigger glasses.  
Chris: I think Hagrid keeps some Lord of the Rings goblets in the editing room.  
Doug: Alright, I will go grab that.

(Doug heads in.)

Pinkie: In the meantime, let's get the laughter rolling again! Marcone, truth or dare?  
Marcone: Truth?  
Pinkie: Have you ever killed someone?  
Marcone: ... Dare.  
Doug: TWILIGHT! GUYS! EVERYONE, COME HERE!  
Marcone: Go. I'll protect da soda.

(They head to the editing room.)

Twilight: Doug, what is it?  
Doug: You're not gonna believe this.

(Cut to Hagrid as he's leaning against a tree.)

Hagrid: So I rummaged through my pockets, and look what I found.

(Hagrid pulls out a thing of toothpaste.)

Hagrid: Toothpaste. Which you wouldn't normally think is a four course meal, but you know what? I am getting that desperate. The only other thing I found is these berries that I don't know whether or not they're poisonous. The toothpaste has to be safer, right?

(Cut to Hagrid throwing up behind a tree. Cut to Hagrid reading the back.)

Hagrid: "If more than used for brushing and accidentally swallowed, get medical help or contact the poison control center." You know, the poison control center that's in your local neighborhood?! Who would've thought that toothpaste was poisonous?! Google it! Apparently it... Okay, well I guess now the choice is obvious. I have to eat the berries.

(Cut to Hagrid puking behind the tree. Cut to Hagrid at the camera.)

Hagrid: ... Interesting bit of reading on the back of that toothpaste label. I found out that the most common thing found in everybody's bathroom... Apparently if you drink too much, it gives you the shakes, the trots, and causes you to hallucinate. At least that's what Bobo the Invisibly Monkey is telling me. Isn't that right, Bobo?

(Hagrid points the camera at nothing.)

Hagrid (VO): SHUT UP!

(Cut to Hagrid sighing as he keeps walking.)

Hagrid: Well... On the bright side, at least I know I'm not going in circles.

(Hagrid finds the tree with the berries and the note as he screams and just puts the camera down and leans against the tree as he thinks of a song his mother sang to him as a kid.)

Mrs. Bugie (VO): _You get blue like everyone.  
But me and your father can make your troubles go away.  
Blow away.  
There... They... Go...  
Cheer up, Honey.  
Give me a smile.  
What happened to that smile  
I used to know?  
Don't you know your grin  
Has always been my sunshine.  
Let that sunshine show.  
Come on, Honey.  
No need to frown.  
Deep down you know,  
The world is still your toy.  
When the world gets heavy,  
Never pitter-patter.  
Up and at 'em, boy.  
Some day, sweet as a song.  
Honey's lucky day will come along.  
'Till that day you've gotta stand up strong, Honey.  
Up on top is right where you belong.  
Look up, Honey.  
You'll see a star.  
Just follow it  
And keep your dream in view.  
Pretty soon the sky  
Is gonna clear up, Robby.  
Cheer up, Honey, do...  
Cheer up, Honey.  
Just be glad you're... You...  
_  
(Hagrid sighs and picks up the camera as it begins to get night.)

Hagrid: I realize something now. Life is not a movie. You can try your best, do everything right, and yet you can still fail. Just get used to it. It's the way things are gonna happen because you can try your best to do everything right, but in the end, you still wake up in the middle of a forest abandoned and dying to death! Nothing is going to save me right now. I'm just gonna die alone. I don't know how Mom and Dad used to love this stuff. I don't know how they carried that enthusiasm. How they used to have so much brightness to them. And-and-and then... How did it get them through such hard times? How did that carry them? How can I get just a little bit of that right now? Just a little bit of that to get me through this painful...! The answer is, I can't. Nobody can. So just give up.

(Cut to Hagrid walking to a place relatively clear of trees.)

Hagrid: Alright, this looks like a good place to die. Don't worry, Mom and Dad. I'm coming soon-

(He hears the giggling again. Feeling the panic, he rushes off, causing his hat to fall off. He then arrives at a house.)

Hagrid: Holy cow.

(He rushes off to the house and gets in as he finds the girl he saw last night standing in a corner.)

Hagrid: What the hell?

(Hagrid is knocked out from behind as he drops his camera. Cut to Rainbow Dash running through the woods.)

Rainbow Dash: Hagrid? Hagrid?! Ro-

(Rainbow Dash stops as she finds Hagrid's hat.)

Rainbow Dash: Oh no...

(Rainbow Dash turns her camera to herself.)

Rainbow Dash: Photographer's log, December 22, 2011. Director down. Repeat... Director down.

The End.


	5. Burnt Souls

**Equestria Preteens**

**Season 5**

Episode 5: Burnt Souls

(It opens with the gang continuing watching the footage from three days ago.)

Doug (VO): You're not gonna believe this.

(Cut to three days ago as Doug holds a folder.)

Twilight: What is it?  
Doug: Recognize this?

(Doug shows a picture of a seven-year-old green boy with black hair.)

Applejack: Hey yeah. It was that really bad child actor. What was his name again?  
Pinkie: Ooh! Ooh! Robby Bugie! He did that really funny parody of Star Wars and Star Trek... Um... Universal Event! He also did that Christmas movie with the Schwarzenegger wannabe! ... Um...  
Doug: Sleigh Bell Blues.  
Chris: Yeah, yeah. So what was it he always used to say in Universal Event?  
John: Whoopee!  
Sunset: Yeah, that kid was awful.  
Doug: Yeah, that was such a weird movie. Wait, no! Do you guys know who this is?!  
Fluttershy: I'm sorry, but no I don't. Should we?

(Doug quickly grabs a picture of Hagrid from when they first met and holds it to the picture.)

Doug: Now do you recognize them?

(They're unmistakably the same person.)

Trixie: Oh my god!

(Cut to Hagrid a day ago as he's sleeping when he wakes up and jumps as the girl's holding the camera he brought with him.)

Hagrid: The heck?

(He turns to see a couple starring down at him.)

Man: Glad to see you're up. I thought you'd never come to.  
Hagrid: Urgh... I can barely move...  
Woman: Yeah, Adam must've hit you a little too hard. Must've knocked your nerves out of whack.  
Adam: Don't worry about it. Just keep taking these pills, and the feeling will come back.

(Adam gives Hagrid some white pills.)

Hagrid: Who are you?  
Adam: I'm Adam, and this is my wife Jill.  
Jill: Hello!

(The girl turns the camera to herself.)

Girl: And I'm Liz!  
Hagrid: That's the ghost girl!  
Adam: No, no. That's just our daughter, and she's been a very bad young lady. Haven't you, Liz?  
Liz: Maybe.  
Hagrid: I saw her in the woods!  
Adam: She was following you around for awhile while you were out there. Say you're sorry, Liz.  
Liz: ... Sorry.  
Hagrid: But she was giggling real creepily.  
Adam: Yeah, she was trying to scare you while you were out there. Say you're sorry, Liz.  
Liz: Sorry.  
Hagrid: But she was in a corner when I came into a house in the middle of the woods.  
Adam: It was our house. She was being punished for trying to scare you. Say you're sorry, Liz.  
Liz: Sorry!  
Hagrid: But somebody knocked me out.  
Adam: You were an intruder in our house, and you were staring at our preteen daughter.  
Jill: Adam, say you're sorry!  
Adam: ... Sorry.  
Jill: But as you can see, you're safe. Your camera is safe. There's nothing to worry about. Just rest, and you'll feel all better.  
Liz (whispering): I will kill you in your sleep.  
Hagrid: Mm!  
Adam & Jill: LIZ!  
Liz: Sorry. Just wanted to see if he flinched. (To camera) He did.

(Cut to the gang researching Robby Bugie's movie career.)

Sunset: I just don't believe it. The whole time. The whole time we've known him, and he never told any of us. Why wouldn't he tell us?  
Doug: I don't know, but we're gonna find out.  
Twilight: You guys keep an eye on the door while we do some more research.  
Sunset: Did any of you know about this?  
Rarity: Are you kidding? One of the worst child actors of all time and not a single crack at his expense? Not even a lady such as myself can sit on a joke for that long.

(Cut to Hagrid sleeping as he wakes up again as Silent Night is playing on the radio and the family's there looking at him.)

Hagrid: Dah!  
Jill: Rise and shine, Robby.  
Hagrid: Oh my god, I haven't heard that name since... Wait. What did you call me?  
Liz: Robby Bugie! You're Robby Bugie!  
Adam: We know you prefer to go by Hagrid Dash now, but a star of your stature should never use a false name.  
Hagrid: ... Well, it's been great seeing you, guys. Thanks for scaring the daylights out of me, but I've gotta get to my friends and assure them that I'm okay.

(Rob tries to get up but falls back onto the bed.)

Jill: Aw. Your nerves are still sore.  
Adam: Ta-take more medicine! Take more medicine!

(Adam gives him another pill.)

Liz: And don't worry. Canterlot is less than a day's walk away from here!  
Hagrid: The idiots who dropped me here left me within a day of my friends... And I've been wandering the woods like an idiot for two of 'em? Oh... That's embarrassing.  
Adam: Think nothing of it. You do not know what an honor it is to have a star of your name in this house. We are simply thrilled.  
Hagrid: How do you recognize me?  
Liz: We've seen your movies like a gazillion times!  
Adam: Yes. We recognized your bone structure.  
Hagrid: My bone structure?  
Adam: Your movies were so bad, we had to watch them over and over again.  
Liz: It's a family tradition.  
Jill: And... We have a surprise for you...

(Jill holds up a DVD.)

Jill: Universal Event! The very first movie you were ever in!  
Hagrid (sadly): Oh, I-I'm honored.  
Adam: No, no. We're honored! We get to see one of the strangest parodies of all time with one of the worst child actors of all time!  
Hagrid: You know, I don't think I'm up to it-  
Adam: Yes you are.  
Hagrid: I'm really not.  
Adam: Yes you are. Sweetheart, help me. Help me move him.

(Cut to them in a mattress on the living room.)

Adam: Here it comes! Here it comes!  
Robby (statically): Whoopee!  
Everyone but Hagrid: WHOOPEE!  
Adam: Go on, say it.  
Hagrid (exasperated): Whoopee.  
Everyone but Hagrid: WHOOPEE!

(Cut to after the movie as everyone applauds.)

Jill: Well that was wonderful. You know, I think that was probably your most watchable.  
Adam: Hey Robby, I've always wanted to ask. Did Will Wheaton or Jake Lloyd ever give you grief over you parodying their character type?  
Hagrid: No actually.  
Adam: Cool. Well I got another little surprise for you. Can you guess what it is?  
Hagrid: Does it rhyme with sleigh hell poo?  
Adam: Sleigh Bell Blues!

(Cut to the gang meeting back up as Marcone watches the door.)

Doug: So we looked up his back history on IMDB.  
Applebloom: And?  
Twilight: Well we found out that a few bad movies weren't the only reason he changed his identity.  
Scootaloo: What? He make some bad shows too?

(Doug brings up a news article that reads, "Bugies die in horrible traffic accident. Nominated stars leave behind legacy, son.")

Sweetie Belle: ... Oh my gosh... Her parents were killed by a drunk driver?  
Doug: According to this, they were on the way to visit Hagrid on the set of Sleigh Bell Blues when it happened. The guy was swerving like mad, and they tried to stop, but he smashed into their side, knocking the car off the bridge. Poor kid found out from Mrs. Dash while he was on set. Had to shoot the rest of the movie with a fake mother, and a poor man's Arnold as a father. What do you suppose something like that does to a seven-year-old kid?

(Cut to the house as the family and Hagrid watch the film.)

Actor: Don't worry, Jimmy, I'll get you that Turboteen Doll for Christmas.  
Robby (monotone): I love you, Daddy.  
Actor: I love you, Jimmy.  
Adam: It's so funny! Like you didn't care at all!  
Robby (monotone): I can't believe you didn't get me a Turboteen. I hate you Dad. I hate you.  
Jill: Are you even trying?  
Adam: It's so terrible!  
Robby: Just leave me alone! All of you, LEAVE ME ALONE!  
Adam: That was the only time you had emotion in your voice. What was going through your head at the time?  
Hagrid: Well, my parents were killed in a car accident for one.

(They stop watching the film and look down at Hagrid.)

Hagrid: Oh yeah. Yeah. They didn't talk about it that much. They felt it'd dampen the Christmas spirit, but it happened. And I tried to press on as best as I could under the circumstances, but in the end it doesn't matter because I gave a bad performance. And in the end, that is everything. I mean, that's enough to judge a person for the rest of his life. For people to yell things at a seven-year-old kid while he was moving to Canterlot. Call him names. Say he's a horrible person. Because I gave a bad performance. I didn't think acting was anything to really be ashamed of. I mean, I didn't seem to be hurting anyone. I loved doing it. I was following in my parents' footsteps. But... In the end, it doesn't matter because I gave a bad performance, and I should really... Really be sorry for it. And I am. I am sorry that I did that. Can you forgive me? Can you forgive me that my parents died because of some jackass who treated alcohol like soda and because of that I couldn't give it my all? Because I am. I am so... Freaking... Sorry.

(The two burst out laughing.)

Adam: You almost had me going there for a minute! I was starting to believe that!  
Jill: Someone must've taken acting lessons.  
Adam: No kidding! Oh, oh! Here's the scene where you're about to fly around on the rocket pack! You can totally tell by his face that it's green screened!

(Hagrid sighs as he thinks about his friends back in Canterlot, the ones who wouldn't care that he gave a bad performance. The ones who would understand what he was going through.)

Hagrid (mentally): _What have I done,  
Sweet Jesus, what have I done?  
Become a thief in the night,  
Become a dog on the run,  
Have I fallen so far  
And is the hour so late  
That nothing remains but the cry of my hate,  
The cries in the dark that nobody hears,  
Here where I stand at the turning of the years?  
If there's another way to go,  
I missed it those ten long years ago.  
My life was a war that could never be won.  
They gave me a number and they murdered Robby  
When they jeered me and left me for dead  
Just for being nothing more than a talking head.  
Yet why did I allow my friends  
To touch my soul and teach me love?  
They treated me like any other.  
They gave me their trust,  
Some called me brother.  
My life they claim for God above.  
Can such things be?  
For I had come to hate the world,  
This world that always hated me.  
Take an eye for an eye.  
Turn your heart into stone.  
This is all I have lived for.  
This is all I have known.  
One word from them and I'd be back  
Beneath a lash, upon a rack,  
Instead they offered me my freedom.  
I feel my shame inside me like a knife.  
They told me that I had a soul,  
How do they know?  
What spirit comes to move my life,  
Is there another way to go?  
I am reaching but I fall  
And the night is closing in  
As I stare into the void  
To the whirlpool of my sin.  
I'll escape now from that world  
From the world of Hagrid Dash.  
Hagrid Dash is nothing now!  
Rob Bugie's story must begin._

(Cut to the gang at the studio sitting down contemplatively.)

Fluttershy: All this time. All those movies he was trying to mock.  
Doug: I guess it was just his way to vent at Hollywood. The whole system.  
Fluttershy: Two people so full of life dying while going to visit their son. How awful.  
John: It's the way of things... I guess.  
Fluttershy: Well it's the wrong way! All of it! People aren't supposed to lose their parents when they're seven years old! Especially not to big drunk-driving meanies! We've gotta do something! We can't let Hagrid keep all this bottled up!  
Chris: Well what do you wanna do?  
Fluttershy: ... Make a movie!  
Everybody: ... WHAT?!  
Fluttershy: A real movie, not a parody, on purpose!  
Doug: Oh... One of those. What you're requesting is improbable.  
Fluttershy: But it's not impossible.  
Doug: Still improbable.  
Fluttershy: Come on. Put aside the Gene Roddenberry and become the George Lucas you were meant to be.  
Doug: Okay. I'm gonna need a laptop, a six pack of Mountain Dew, and keep that Flashwave handy.  
Fluttershy: Robby Bugie on three?  
Doug: Robby Bugie on three.

(Everyone holds their hands together.)

Everyone: ROBBY BUGIE!

(Cut to the family as Sleigh Bell Blues ends.)

Jill: Okay, time to get you back to bed.  
Adam: Yeah, you need your rest, so that we can watch this again tomorrow.  
Hagrid (sighing): How long do you guys plan on doing this?  
Jill: Um... 'Till you feel better.  
Adam: Oh, and until my friends come over, and they can watch it with you too.  
Liz: Whoopee!  
Jill & Adam: WHOOPEE!

(Cut to Doug, Twilight, and Fluttershy at the laptop.)

Fluttershy: It's gotta be something that will mean a lot to Hagrid and show him that we care.  
Twilight: I know, Fluttershy. I know.  
Fluttershy: ... What was that movie Mrs. Bugie won the Oscar for?  
Doug: Um... Burnt Souls.  
Fluttershy: What's it about?  
Doug: Um... Blind girl meets a guy who had a quarter of his face badly burned in an accident. Prejudiced society doesn't approve. They don't get married. Kind of like Helen Keller meets Zuko from Avatar.  
Fluttershy: Doug... Do you think we could make it into a sequel?  
Doug: Yeah... Yeah! A sequel someone like Hagrid would've wanted to see! What are they doing now?!  
Trixie: Well they're kinda both dead.  
Doug: No, not the Bugies! The characters they played!  
Trixie: Oh.

(Cut to the morning the gang woke up as Liz is in her parents' room with the camera.)

Liz: Dad?

(Adam wakes up with a start.)

Adam: Huh?  
Liz: Aren't you supposed to give Robby his medicine?  
Adam: Medicine?  
Liz: Yeah, like the really important medicine? ... The heavy narcotics?  
Adam: ... OH MY GOSH!

(The three rush to Hagrid's room as he's not on the bed.)

Adam: W-where'd he go?

(Hagrid closes the door holding the pills and the knife.)

Hagrid: You know the funny thing about muscle relaxers is that they have to be taken consistently in order for them to take effect. Especially ones as strong as these.

(Hagrid drops the bottle.)

Adam: We... We were just having a little fun.  
Hagrid: Fun?  
Jill: Yeah. We... We didn't mean anything by it.  
Hagrid: You people. You never really mean anything when you think about it. It's only when you don't think that your inner jerks come out!  
Adam: Say you're sorry, Liz!  
Liz: ... Sorry...  
Hagrid: Don't blame her!  
Jill: Yeah! Say you're sorry, Adam!  
Adam: Sorry.  
Hagrid: All of you are to blame! You took something that was miserable from the past, and you just obsessed over it. You turned it into your lives! Why couldn't you invest in something that's important like people, or their feelings, or... No. No, this is good. This is good. You wanna know why? Because I almost became you. I almost let something really stupid and really painful consume me. Well no more. I am done obsessing. I am done trying to hide from what happened. I am not doing this anymore. I don't care what you do for the rest of your lives. You can go to heaven or rot in Hell for all I care. But stay in that corner for an hour. Just stay in that corner. Don't move, don't blink... That's not fair. You can blink. But don't move from that corner for an hour. Don't follow me. If I see you again, I'm putting a restraining order out on you. Don't look for me.  
Liz: Well, at least we got a free camera out of it.  
Hagrid: Wait, I need that!  
Liz: Aw.

(Liz hands the camera back, and he heads out. Cut to the studio.)

Doug: We'll tell the greatest love story untold! A tribute! Something for Hagrid! Something for his mom and dad. Something better than our last movie!  
Fluttershy: Yay.  
Doug: And Twilight will play the lead.  
Twilight: Say huh?  
Fluttershy: Yeah. We'll show those drunk meanies.

(Cut to the present as the gang smiles at Fluttershy's shirt as she smiles bashfully. Cut to three days ago.)

John: Uh guys, you do realize we're down two actors, right?  
Marcone: Well I'd be happy ta help out.  
Pinkie: Hi Mr. Marcone! Do you have any acting experience?  
Marcone: Yeah. Especially on the role.  
Fluttershy: Yay. So Doug, what have we got?  
Doug: Well, it basically picks up ten years after the first movie, and Mrs. Bugie's character is in a nursing home.  
Sunset: Are you guys sure about this? I mean, this isn't like anything we've ever done before. Swindling Swindell was easier than this.  
Doug: Don't worry. Now, listen.  
Sunset: To what?  
Doug: Do you hear the people sing?  
Singing a song of Bugie's friends.  
It is the music of a people  
Who will not desert or bend.  
Fluttershy: When the beating of your heart  
Echoes the beating of the drums,  
There is a live about to start  
When tomorrow comes.

(Cut to Applejack and Pinkie Pie fixing up a set.)

Applejack: Will you join in our crusade?  
Who will be strong and stand with me?  
Pinkie: Beyond the studio,  
Is there a world you want to see?

(Cut to Rarity as she begins working on the outfits.)

Rarity: Then join in the fight  
That will give Rob the right  
To be free!

(Cut to everyone working out production.)

Everybody: Do you hear the people sing?  
Singing the song of Bugie's friends!  
It is the music of a people  
Who will not desert or bend!  
When the beating of your heart  
Echoes the beating of the drums,  
There is a life about to start  
When tomorrow comes!  
John: Will you join in our crusade,  
So that our banner may advance?  
Some will fall, and some will live.  
Will you stand up and take your chance?  
The blood on the marches will halt  
At the meadows upfront!  
Everybody: Do you hear the people sing?!  
Singing the song of Bugie's friends!  
It is the music of a people  
Who will not desert or bend!  
When the beating of your heart  
Echoes the beating of the drums,  
There is a life about to start  
When tomorrow comes!

(Cut to the present as they finish up watching the security footage.)

Sweetie Belle: And then what happened?!  
Doug: ... Watch this...

(Doug clicks the movie as it plays. Doug, with makeup making a quarter of his face look badly burned, comes up to Marcone dressed as a doctor.)

Marcone: You've come a long way, Mr. Jordan. Tell me, what is it you hope to find here?  
Doug: Something I've lost.  
Marcone: Most people here don't get visitors, especially after ten years.  
Doug: What madness drove her here?  
Marcone: ... Love. A sort of deep-seated longing that no amount of tears or alcohol or drugs can ever hope to satisfy. If you wanna see her, you can, but don't hold out much hope. Lord knows she hasn't.

(Doug goes to Twilight in a bed as Doug sits by her and brushes her face with his hand as she takes it.)

Twilight: I know this hand.

(Twilight takes her hand and rubs the sides of Doug's face, stopping at the burn.)

Twilight: I know this face.

(Doug takes Twilight's hand as he smiles.)

Twilight: You changed.  
Doug: The world has changed. It's not the same place anymore.

(Twilight looks away. Cut to a dining room as the two are arguing.)

Twilight: I gave you everything, my hand in marriage, and you left me!  
Doug: I did what I had to do to keep you safe! The world wouldn't understand.  
Twilight: Wouldn't understand a woman marrying a man with a scar? It wasn't the world you were hiding from! You were hiding from yourself! Marrying you was my choice to make. Mine! ... You were a coward.  
Doug: You're right... And I'm sorry. But now-  
Twilight: Now there's nothing.

(Doug takes Twilight's hand.)

Doug: Come on, Elina.  
Twilight: I can't.  
Doug: Damn it, Elina, get out of this prison and live! There's nothing left for you here.  
Twilight: There's nothing left for me out there, either! ... The girl you knew died on that bus the second it left the city. She's a ghost now... Just like you.

(Doug puts Twilight's hand to his chest.)

Doug: You feel this heart? It's the same one that fluttered in Central Park. It's the same heart that beats in your chest. So long as you feel that beat... We're alive. We're not ghosts without a body to experience the world with. Now come on.

(Doug and Twilight head out and walk around the town.)

Doug: Open your ears. Reach for the sky. Breathe the fresh air again like you once did.  
Twilight: I'm scared.  
Doug: We're all scared, but that shouldn't stop you.  
Twilight: What if it's too late?  
Doug: Then start over. Tell me everything you experience, like a newborn baby for the very first time.  
Twilight: I feel wind and cold... But warm. The sun...

(Twilight rubs Doug's hand and moves it up to his face.)

Twilight: And your hands and face. I can see it clear as day in my mind. It's beautiful.

(Cut to Doug opening a box with an engagement ring in it at a beach.)

Doug: I have nothing left to offer you. Just a broken soul coming to you on bended knee.

(Doug puts Twilight's hand to the ring as her eyes widen.)

Doug: Begging your forgiveness. It's your choice, and if you choose not to, I'd understand, but if you'd have me...  
Twilight: Of course I will!

(Doug puts the wedding ring on her finger.)

Twilight: Let's get married in a big tree in Central Park where...

(Twilight gasps as she falls into Doug's arms.)

Doug: Elina?

(Cut to the hospital as Doug talks to Marcone.)

Marcone: It's the years of abuse. The human body can only take so much. Once the organs start to fail... I'm sorry. She has days. Maybe hours.

(Cut to Doug kneeling by Twilight's bed.)

Doug: It's not fair...  
Twilight: You above all people should know that it never is.  
Doug: ... I can do something... I can fix it.  
Twilight: No. Now it's my turn.

(Twilight caresses Doug's face as he holds her hand to his face and cries.)

Twilight: These past few days have been the best of my life, and I would spend a million lives in darkness just for this moment. You're here with me, but it won't last forever. So when you walk out that door, start over. Experience everything, like a newborn baby for the first time and tell me what you see.

(Cut to Doug standing over a tombstone as he looks up at the sky.)

Doug (VO): I see a woman of extraordinary courage. A woman so powerful, so beautiful that not even this world can contain her. I see a man who was lost but now is found. Was blind but now can see.

(Doug goes to Central Park as he looks up at the sky and smiles a little. Cut back to reality as the gang finishes watching it.)

Twilight: ... Wow! That was... Really good.  
Trixie: It was a little clichéd at parts, but considering how our last hit was an accident, this is practically our Citizen Kane!  
Pinkie: So I guess we just partied the rest of the night with that Flashwave?  
Doug: I guess so.  
Fluttershy: Um... How'd you two end up back in those outfits.  
Chris: Two huge bottles of Flashwave will do that to a guy. I had a friend from before me and my mom moved here who woke up dressed as Punky Brewster.  
Twilight: Do you guys know what this means?  
Chris: I should be concerned that my friend is watching Punky Brewster?  
Twilight: No! ... Well maybe. Anyway, we can purposefully make a really good movie!  
Doug: Yeah, and all it took was a gallon of caffeine.  
Pinkie: Whoo-Hoo! And we still have two days to Christmas!

(Fluttershy grabs a flash drive.)

Fluttershy: We have to save this. This is the best thing we've ever done, and I just know Hagrid will love it!

(The figure arrives and takes the drive.)

Figure: I'll take that!  
Applejack: Hey, who are you?!  
Figure: I am...

(The figure lowers his hood to reveal a blond man with a big beard.)

Figure: Tom Collins. Grand Leader Master of SWAG! And I believe this is mine.  
Doug: Says who?!

(Collins pulls a gun on them.)

Doug: Okay, okay, we're cool. We're cool!

(Collins loads the gun.)

Doug: I said we're cool!  
Collins: This is your last chance. Give up Demo Reel, or face the consequences.  
Chris: Come on. You're not really gonna kill us. You can't be that crazy.  
Collins: Oh really? Why don't you ask your friend, Hagrid, how crazy I am?  
Fluttershy: You monster! What did you do?!  
Collins: Oh, he's fine... I think. Maybe... Actually, I don't know where he is. Do any of you?  
Doug: Are you kidding? We've been in a coma for three days.  
Collins: Oh.  
Chris: See? I knew it. He's not gonna kill anybody. He's bluffing.  
Collins: You're right. I can't kill anybody, but there is something I can kill.

(Collins holds the gun to the drive.)

Fluttershy: No! We worked really hard on that! It's Hagrid's Christmas Present!  
Collins: Then give up Demo Reel!  
Doug: No way!  
Collins: You leave me no choice.

(Collins tosses the drive down and shoots, but he misses by a mile.)

Collins: Huh?  
Pinkie: He's a bluffer and a bad shot. Why were we afraid of this guy?  
Collins: Why you-!  
Marcone (VO): Hey kids!

(They turn to see Marcone there.)

Marcone: I just came back ta say dat I had a great time with ya. Oh, you're doin' another film. Don't let me stop ya. See ya around.  
Pinkie: Bye Mr. Marcone!

(Marcone walks off.)

Collins: ... Okay, now-

(Fluttershy jumps the guy and beats him up.)

Collins: OH GET HER OFF! GET HER OFF! GET HER OFF OF ME!

(Collins gets the gun back out and holds it to her.)

Collins: GET BACK YOU GIRLY LITTLE MANIAC!

(She backs up to the others as he looks for the drive.)

Collins: Where's the drive?  
John: I have it.  
Collins: Crud. You may have won this round, but the battle is far from over! You hear me?! The battle is-

(As he tries to leave, he bumps into Hagrid, a little rugged from his four days in the woods but fine.)

Everyone: Hagrid!  
Hagrid: What the heck happened here?  
Fluttershy: This big meanie tried to destroy our Christmas present to you! We made a tribute to your parents' movie.

(Hagrid smiles before he turns to Collins and frowns.)

Collins: Oh no.

(Hagrid knocks Collins down and stands on his chest.)

Hagrid: Alright, SWAG, you called down the thunder, well now you've got it!

(Hagrid holds up his camera.)

Hagrid: You see that? It says that I'm a film maker. Take a good look at it, SWAG, because that's the way you'll never end up! Your group is finished, you understand me?! I see a SWAG logo, I kick the jackass wearing it, so run you cur. Run! And tell all the other curs that Hagrid Dash is coming! You tell them Rob Bugie's coming, and my friends are coming with me, you hear?! My friends are coming with me!

(Collins tries to leave when he's knocked back inside by Rainbow Dash.)

Rainbow Dash: Where do you think you're going, pal? I haven't had a shot to kick your butt yet.

(Rainbow Dash knocks Collins around and pulls his gun away as Collins rushes off as everyone smiles and hugs.)

Rob: Sis... You came back for me.  
Rainbow Dash: Of course.

(They look around.)

Rob: I imagine everyone has a strange story to tell.  
Doug: Ya think?

(They chuckle. Cut to Christmas at Sweet Apple Acres as everyone's there.)

Granny: Well, all's well that ends well. That's what I always say.  
Big Mac: Eyup.  
Doug: And Rob, we're sorry for prying. We didn't mean to.  
Rob: Eh, it's okay. I mean, being out there for a few days made me realize something. Bad, strange stuff can consume people. Like a certain group of people that I came across, but the way I see it, you can either be taken over by it, or you can choose to move on with your life, and I can say for sure now that I know what's important, who's important, and why they're important, and with that said, Merry Christmas guys.  
Everyone: Merry Christmas.

(Everyone chinks their glasses.)

Pa: That film you kids made was great.  
Doug: Thanks Pa.  
Rob: And that reminds me. What say we at least start up that Dragonball project we've been talking about?  
Doug: Sounds like a plan to me.

The End.


	6. The Empire Strikes Back

**Equestria Preteens**

**Season 5**

Episode 6: The Empire Strikes Back

(It opens as the gang stretches.)

Rob: Okay guys, ready for doing Empire Strikes Back?  
Pinkie: Yay!  
Chris: Whoo-hoo!  
Trixie: Trixie thinks that means yes.

A long time ago,  
in a galaxy far, far away...

AFTER THE DESTRUCTION OF THE DEATH STAR, THE REBEL ALLIANCE IS FORCED TO RELOCATE TO THE ICE PLANET OF HOTH.

MEANWHILE, NIGHTMARE MOON HAS BEEN OBSESSED WITH FINDING SHINING ARMOR.

IN HER SEARCH, NIGHTMARE MOON HAS SENT SEVERAL PROBE DROIDS IN SEARCH OF SHINING ARMOR...

(Cut to a shot of a Star Destroyer as it sends down several probes as one arrives at the planet as it lands, Shining Armor, doing a perimeter check in his snow gear, looks at the impact through binoculars.)

Shining Armor: Dispatch Three to Echo Base. Doug old buddy, can you hear me?  
Doug (statically): Loud and clear, SA. Something up?  
Shining Armor: I saw a meteor impact; I'm going to double check and make sure it isn't anything dangerous.  
Doug: Alright, but be careful. Those snow creatures have been giving us trouble.  
Shining Armor: Alright, alright. I'll be fine.

(Shining Armor's about to head off when a white Manticore pops up and knocks him out and unconscious before dragging him off. Cut to Doug going to Commander Mayor.)

Doug: Hey ma'am, I'm afraid I should get going. If I don't pay off the Diamond Dogs, I'm a dead man.  
Mayor Mare: Well I suppose so. A death threat is a hard thing to live with. Good luck.  
Doug: Thanks.

(Doug walks off as Twilight follows.)

Twilight: Doug? Doug!

(Doug stops.)

Doug: What?  
Twilight: I thought you were gonna stay.  
Doug: Well that bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mandel changed my mind, but I know the real reason you don't want me to leave.  
Twilight: Oh?  
Doug: You can't bare me leaving because of how you feel about me.  
Twilight: Duh! You're a natural leader, and a big help!  
Doug: No, that's not it.  
Twilight: You're nuts!  
Doug: Am I? Then why are you following me?! Afraid I'll leave without kissing ya good-bye?  
Twilight: I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee!  
Doug: I can arrange that! You could use a good kiss!

(Doug walks off in a huff as Twilight huffs as well. On the way, he passes Rarity and Applejack.)

Rarity: All I said was that it's cold in Princess Twilight's chambers.  
Applejack: Okay, one mistake. It aint the end of the world.  
Rarity: You melted her entire room!  
Applejack: I never said it was a tiny mistake.  
Doug: Hey girls, has Shining Armor come back yet?  
Applejack: Uh... Actually no.  
Doug: ... Oh my... I'm going after him!  
Rarity: Wait! It's too late in the day and too cold out! You'll be locked out and freeze to death!

(Doug rushes off anyway.)

Rarity: Oh dear, this will be trouble.  
Applejack: Yup.

(Cut to Shining Armor as he wakes up hanging upside down in the Manticore's cave. He looks around and sees his Lightsaber lying on the ground. He can't reach it, but using his weak but existing Force control, he pulls the Lightsaber up and cuts himself free as the Manticore comes up, and Shining Armor quickly cuts its arm off before he rushes off. He walks into the cold as he eventually falls over when a spectral image of Celestia appears.)

Celestia: Shining Armor, you will go to the Dagobah System.  
Shining Armor: ... What?  
Celestia: There, you will learn from Zecora, the Jedi Master who first instructed me.

(Celestia disappears as Doug comes up.)

Doug: SA! SA, are you alright?  
Shining Armor: Uh... Celestia... Dagobah System...  
Doug: Oh, no way we can get back to the base in this weather. I better make a shelter.

(Doug uses his unicorn magic to start a magically shielded fire as he sets Shining Armor next to it to keep him warm.)

Doug: There, now I can get a shelter ready.

(Cut to the base as the doors close.)

Applejack: We gotta go after 'em!  
Rarity: There's no way anybody could find them in the dark.  
Applejack: But it'll be a miracle if they survive out there on their own!  
Rarity: Well, miracles do happen... From time to time.

(Twilight looks at the door. Cut to later as a search party finds the two as Shining Armor's in a hospital bed, recovered but resting.)

Shining Armor: Thanks Doug.  
Doug: That's two you owe me, SA. I'll have to get a log book to keep track.

(Twilight comes in.)

Twilight: Shining Armor, are you okay?  
Shining Armor: Just fine.  
Doug: Well guess you've got me hanging out a bit longer with Shining Armor in bed. Lucky for you, huh?  
Twilight: Lucky?!  
Shining Armor: What's going on?  
Rob: Doug thinks Twilight's crushing on her.  
Shining Armor: Ha-ha.

(Cut to the probe going to Hoth as it sees the base when Doug runs out and blasts it.)

Doug: Oh boy. Everybody, it's a sure bet that the Empire knows we're here.

(Cut to the Star Destroyer as Nightmare Moon walks up to two officers who found the base.)

Nightmare Moon: Report, Captain Shimmer.  
Sunset: One of our probes found a base on Hoth when it's supposed to be uninhabited.  
Nightmare Moon: That's it. The rebels are there, and I'm sure Shining Armor is with them. Set your course for the Hoth system!

(The ship arrives. Cut to the base as it trips the sensors.)

Doug: Something big's coming.  
Twilight: Urgh. Not this again.

(She goes to the fighters.)

Twilight: Okay, your main job is to keep the Empire from the base as our ships escape. Nopony try to be a hero! To your speeders.

(Shining Armor shares a speeder with Derpy. They charge at the Imperial Walkers.)

Derpy: Hey Shining Armor! What if we use a towing cable to trip them!  
Shining Armor: Good idea!

(They do so as the Walker falls over and explodes when another hits their ship as it explodes and knocks the two out.)

Derpy: You okay, Shining Armor?! Anything I can do to help?  
Shining Armor: Just safely get out of here, alright.  
Derpy: Okay.

(Shining Armor then levitates up to a Walker, cuts its belly open, and puts in a device that makes it blow up as he heads back to the base too. Cut to inside as the Star Destroyer is firing on the base.)

Doug: Twilight!  
Twilight: What?  
Doug: We've gotta get you out of here before you're crushed!  
Twilight: What about you?  
Doug: There's no time to argue! Come with me!

(Doug and Twilight go off to Rob, who's working on the Falcon as Rarity follows.)

Rarity: Wait! Oh, do wait for me!

(They make it in as Nightmare Moon arrives, but the ship takes off. Shining Armor sees this and cheers as he goes to his X-Wing, with Applejack in the Co-Pilot area.)

Applejack: So we regrouping with 'em?  
Shining Armor: Nope. We're going to the Dagobah System.  
Applejack: The what now?  
Shining Armor: You'll see.

(Shining Armor and Applejack fly off. Cut to Nightmare Moon's armada following the Falcon.)

Doug: Oh come on! Why are we so important?!  
Rob: Well we have a leader of the Rebellion, and we helped Shining Armor blow up the Death Star.  
Doug: Besides that! Alright, hold onto your butts ladies.

(Doug activates the Hyperdrive as nothing happens.)

Doug: Uh-oh.  
Twilight: No lightspeed?  
Doug: No lightspeed. Wait, look over there. That asteroid field.  
Twilight: You're not seriously thinking of following it in there are you?!  
Doug: They'd be crazy to follow us, wouldn't they?  
Rarity: Captain Solo, if I may point out, the odds of successfully doing this are-  
Doug: Never tell me the odds!  
Rarity: Oh, how rude. You know once this conflict is over, you could do with some lessons in etiquette and-  
Doug: Rob, shut her up or shut her off.  
Rarity: Don't even think about it, Robert.  
Rob: Aw.

(They go into the asteroid field as the ships pursue as Doug does a one-eighty.)

Twilight: You're going to attack them?!  
Doug: Yup. Trust me, everything's under control.  
Rob: We're gonna die!

(They make a pass at the Star Destroyer as it disappears.)

Officer: Sir, the vessel has disappeared from our scanners.  
Captain: Impossible. No ship that small has a cloaking device.  
Officer: Sir, Lady Moon orders an update.  
Captain: I will take full responsibility for the loss of the ship.

(The Captain goes to Nightmare Moon as she chokes him to death.)

Nightmare Moon: Apology accepted, Captain.

(Another soldier walks up.)

Soldier: Lady Moon, Empress Chrysalis wants a word with you.  
Nightmare Moon: Move the ship out of the asteroid field, so we can get a better transmission.

(The ship moves as Nightmare Moon goes to a pad as an image of a cloaked Chrysalis appears.)

Nightmare Moon: What is thy bidding, my master?  
Chrysalis: There's been a great disturbance in the Force. This boy, the one who destroyed the Death Star. I'm sure he's the offspring of Luna Skywalker.  
Nightmare Moon (glancing to the left): How is that possible?  
Chrysalis: Search your feelings, Lady Moon. You will know it to be true. He could destroy us.  
Nightmare Moon: He's just a boy. Celestia can no longer help him.  
Chrysalis: Even so, the son of Skywalker must not be allowed to become a Jedi.  
Nightmare Moon: If he could be turned, he would be a powerful ally.  
Chrysalis: Yes... Can it be done?  
Nightmare Moon: He will join us or die, my master.

(Nightmare Moon goes back to the bridge.)

Nightmare Moon: Continue search for the Falcon.

(Cut to on top of the Star Destroyer as the Falcon is latched to it.)

Twilight: Okay, that was a great trick, but now what?  
Doug: Well if they follow Imperial procedure, they'll dump their garbage before going to warp, and then we'll just float away.  
Rarity: How do you know so much about Imperial procedure?  
Doug: I was at the Academy for a few weeks before I saved Rob from a beating, and we've been pals ever since.  
Rob: It's the Stratadon code! ... Anyway, where are we gonna go without hyperdrive?  
Doug: Let's see... There must be a planet within limping distance. Oh, here's something. John.  
Twilight: Who?  
Doug: John Calrissian. We go back a ways. He took over the Bespin Mining Facility, Cloud City. He'll be able to help us repair this ship, and it's only a few days away on impulse.

(The ship begins to shift.)

Doug: Alright, let's head out.

(The ship takes off as Sunset Shimmer, in Boba Fett armor looks and nods to a screen Nightmare Moon is on as she follows the Falcon on the Slave I. Cut to Shining Armor's X-Wing arrives on Dagobah and begins shaking.)

Applejack: Uh... Ya know, it aint supposed ta do that!  
Shining Armor: I know, I know.

(The X-Wing crashed into a swamp as Shining Armor manages to get out, and Applejack gets out but begins slipping off the ship and landing in the swamp.)

Shining Armor: Applejack! Where are you?!

(Applejack comes up gasping for breath.)

Applejack: Here I am.  
Shining Armor: You be more careful.  
Applejack: Alright, alright.

(They walk around as they find a zebra-striped woman.)

Shining Armor: Hey, I'm looking for somebody.  
Zecora: Looking? I would say you have found someone, so is your quest done?  
Shining Armor: Actually, we're looking for a great warrior.  
Zecora: Wars do not make someone great. It even takes more than the hands of fate.  
Shining Armor: Well maybe warrior is the wrong word. We're looking for a Jedi.  
Zecora: Oh, Jedi Master Zecora. You seek Jedi Master Zecora. Come inside, soon with the Jedi, you'll abide.

(Shining Armor and Applejack goes in.)

Shining Armor: Why can't we see Zecora now?  
Zecora: Patience. It is the Jedi's time of rest, allowing him to do his best.  
Shining Armor: Well I don't have time to rest! There's a war going on! Oh, what am I even doing here?!  
Zecora: ... I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience.  
Celestia (VO): He will learn patience.  
Zecora: There is much anger in him, like his mother.  
Celestia: Was I any different when you taught me?  
Zecora: He is too old. Yes, too old to begin the training.  
Shining Armor: But I've learned so much.  
Zecora: Will you finish what you begin to unleash the power from within?  
Shining Armor: I won't fail you. I'm not afraid.  
Zecora: You will be. You will be.

(Cut to later as Shining Armor jumps around in training gear.)

Zecora: Yes, a Jedi's strength flows through the Force, but beware the Dark Side. Fear, anger, aggression, the Dark Side are they. Once you start down the Dark Path, forever will it dominate your destiny. It will consume you, as it did Celestia's apprentice.  
Shining Armor: Moon. Is the Dark Side stronger?  
Zecora: No. It is easier, quicker, and more seductive. There for, it is easier for you to give.  
Shining Armor: But how do I know good from bad?  
Zecora: You will know when you are calm and at peace.

(Shining Armor sees his ship sinking as he goes to it.)

Shining Armor: Now what?  
Zecora: There is no need to pout. Just go ahead and pull it out.  
Shining Armor: But it's too big.

(Zecora sighs and pulls the ship out herself with the Force as it sets down by Shining Armor and Applejack.)

Applejack: Boy howdy.  
Shining Armor: I... I don't believe it.  
Zecora: That is why you fail.

(Cut to Cloud City as the Falcon arrives, and everyone's sighing. The Falcon lands as a version of John wearing Lando's outfit and cloak comes out.)

John: Why you no good, swindling smuggler! You have a lot of guts coming back here after what you pulled!  
Doug: Oh come on, you're still not over that?

(John cracks a smile and embraces him.)

John: How are you doing, you pirate?  
Doug: Pretty good, but the Falcon needs a tune-up.  
John: What have you done to my ship?  
Doug: Your ship? John, you lost her to me and Beth fair and square. Oh, and these are my friends, Twilight Sparkle, C-Rarity, and you know Rob.  
John: Yes, how are you, Rob?  
Rob: Fine.  
John: And Miss Sparkle, enchante mademoiselle.  
Twilight: Why thank you.  
Doug: Well, let's head in.  
Rarity: You know Mr. Calrissian, I must say that this city of yours in darling, and so much better than the uncouth places we usually go for shelter.  
John: Well this place isn't like other places.

(They go on as Rarity sees something glimmer, and she enters a door to find something as she is about to scream when she's blasted apart. Cut to Shining Armor as he continues his training as he stops to rest when he sees a cave and shivers.)

Shining Armor: Something's not right. I feel... Cold...  
Zecora: The Dark Side of the Force is strong in that place. And it is something that you must face.  
Shining Armor: What's in there?  
Zecora: Only what you take with you.

(Shining Armor pulls out his Lightsaber.)

Zecora: You will not need it.

(Shining Armor does so anyway and finds Nightmare Moon at the end of the cave as they do battle, and Shining Armor slices her head off as her mask breaks away to reveal Shining Armor's face as he gasps. Cut back to Cloud City as Rob finds Rarity's parts and brings them to Twilight and Doug.)

Twilight: Oh my lord, what happened?!  
Rob: I don't know. I found her like this.

(They're called off as they arrive at a banquet hall as John opens the door to reveal Nightmare Moon waiting for them with Sunset. Doug blasts at her, but Nightmare Moon deflects the blasts.)

Nightmare Moon: We would be honored if you would join us.  
John: I had no choice. They arrived here just before you did.

(Cut back to Dagobah as Shining Armor is meditating as everything is lifted up.)

Applejack: Whoa, Nellie! I don't like this. I don't like this at all.

(Suddenly Shining Armor's eyes bolt open and everything galls.)

Applejack: ... Ow.  
Shining Armor: I saw a city in the clouds and may friends in danger.  
Zecora: Yes, it is what's happening now.  
Shining Armor: I've got to help them!  
Zecora: Wait, think first before you leave in a burst. If you leave now, you could help, but you would sacrifice all that they have worked and suffered for.

(Shining Armor sighs. Cut to Cloud City as Doug's lowered into a device as he screams, and Nightmare Moon emerges and goes to Sunset.)

Nightmare Moon: You may take Captain Solo to the Diamond Dogs after I have Shining Armor.  
Sunset: He's no good to me dead.  
John: Lady Moon, torturing Doug wasn't part of our bargain, or giving him to this bounty hunter!

(Nightmare Moon stares at John as he backs down.)

Nightmare: Princess Twilight and the Wookiee will be held here, that is final.

(Cut to the cells as Rob is trying to put Rarity back together with only her right arm reattached, and he puts her head back on, but backwards as she looks around.)

Rarity: Oh, now look at what you've done, Robert! I'm backwards! For goodness' sake! Couldn't you have looked at the blue prints first?! Not to mention the fact that without any legs, I can't move around at all, so you might as well have just waited until later!  
Rob: Oh, stop your whining!  
Rarity: Whining?! Robert, I am not whining! I am complaining. Do you want to hear whining?  
Rob: ... No...  
Rarity: Fine. Now fix me up!  
Rob: Yes ma'am.

(Doug's thrown in to the cell block with them as John arrives.)

John: Look, Nightmare Moon's said that Twilight and Rob will stay here under my protection, and-  
Twilight: And you believed her?! Nightmare Moon wants us all dead!  
John: Oh, she's not after you at all! She's after someone called Shining Armor!  
Doug: Oh, you're a real business man, trading in your friends for your little city, my friend.

(Doug kicks John as Rob growls when John doesn't rise.)

John: I've done all I can.

(He walks off. Cut to Shining Armor at Dagobah as he is about to go back into his X-Wing with Applejack.)

Zecora: Wait, you mustn't go! If you follow the quick and easy path as Nightmare Moon did, you will become an ancient of evil.  
Shining Armor: But my friends will die if I don't go!  
Celestia (VO): You don't know that.

(Celestia appears as a Force Ghost.)

Celestia: Even Zecora cannot foresee their fate. This will be a difficult time for you. One where you'll be tempted by the Dark Side. Shining Armor, I don't want to lose you to the Empress the way I lost Nightmare Moon.  
Shining Armor: I have to go! I promise, once my friends are safe, I'll come back here to finish what I started!  
Celestia: If you do go, you'll have to do it alone. I cannot intervene.  
Shining Armor: I understand.  
Zecora: Mind what you have learned! You can be saved by the wisdom you've earned!  
Shining Armor: I will. Good-bye!

(Shining Armor takes off.)

Zecora: I told you he was not ready. Now all is lost. His training will come at a heavy cost.  
Celestia: That boy is our last hope.  
Zecora: No... There is another...  
Celestia: ... I know. I have the Force too, you know!

(Cut to a Carbonite Freezing Chamber as John looks on in horror.)

John: Lady Moon, we only use this to freeze carbon for mining! If you put him in there, Shining Armor could be killed!  
Nightmare Moon: I do not want the Empress' prize damaged which is why we'll test it on Captain Solo.

(Doug is brought up with Twilight, Rob, and a repaired Rarity. Several men go to him when Rob growls and stands between them.)

Doug: Rob, no! This won't help me! ... Twilight, you've got to take care of her now.

(Doug and Twilight look at each other and kiss as he's taken to the Carbonite Freezing Chamber.)

Twilight: ... I love you.  
Doug: I know.

(Doug's frozen in Carbonite as he's brought up as John checks.)

Nightmare Moon: Well?  
John: He's alive and in perfect hibernation.  
Nightmare Moon: Good. He's all yours, Sunset.  
Sunset: Good.

(Sunset carries Doug off.)

Nightmare Moon: Calrissian, take the princess and the Wookiee to my ship.  
John: You said they could stay here under my supervision!  
Nightmare Moon: I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.

(John begrudgingly escorts the two out of the room. Cut to Shining Armor's X-Wing arriving at Cloud City as he and Applejack sneak around when they see Twilight and the others being escorted off. Applejack nods and goes to them as Shining Armor goes through a door. As Applejack arrives, the Stormtroopers are held at gun point by John's men as he frees them.)

John: Come on you lot. There's still a chance to save Doug.  
Rarity: Jolly good, then!

(They head off and try to get to Sunset, but she takes off just as they arrive.)

John: Oh bother.  
Twilight: Alright then. We have to secure the Falcon and then try to get Shining Armor! If Applejack's here that means Shining Armor's arrived.

(Cut to the Freezing Chamber as Shining Armor arrives and looks around.)

Nightmare Moon: The Force is with you, Young Skywalker. But you are not a Jedi yet.

(Shining Armor goes up and ignites his Lightsaber as Nightmare Moon ignites hers, and she easily tosses him into the Freezing Chamber and throws the switch.)

Nightmare Moon: All too easy.

(Shining Armor jumps out and continues the duel.)

Nightmare Moon: Impressive. Most impressive.

(Cut to the others as the Falcon's behind closed doors.)

Applejack: I'm on it.

(Applejack hacks into the computer and opens it as the door opens, and they get to the Falcon. Cut to Shining Armor and Nightmare Moon's duel as they continue fighting through the inner structure of the city as Shining Armor ends up backed into the central antennae of the city just as Nightmare Moon cuts off his hand.)

Shining Armor: AHH!

(He clutches the antennae as Nightmare Moon stands perfectly still.)

Nightmare Moon: You are beaten. It is useless to resist. Don't let yourself be destroyed as Celestia did.  
Shining Armor: I'll never join you!  
Nightmare Moon: If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Celestia never told you what happened to your mother?  
Shining Armor: She told me enough! She told me you killed her!  
Nightmare Moon: No... I... Am your mother.  
Shining Armor: No... That's not true! That's impossible!  
Nightmare Moon: Search your feelings and you will know it to be true!  
Shining Armor: NO! No...  
Nightmare Moon: You can defeat the Empress, Shining Armor. She has foreseen this. Join me, and we can put an end to this destructive conflict! Together, we could rule the galaxy as mother and son.

(Shining Armor lets himself drop as Nightmare Moon stares and walks off. He ends up on an antennae groaning.)

Shining Armor: Twilight...

(Twilight's eyes widen, and she goes to the controls.)

Twilight: I know where Shining Armor is!

(The Falcon goes under Shining Armor, and he drops in as John catches him and takes him to Sick Bay. They're pursued by Imperial Forces until they make the jump to Hyperspace and get away. Cut to the Rebel command ship as Shining Armor gets a new horn.)

John (statically): We're about to head out, Shining Armor. We'll find Doug, even if it means going after the Diamond Dogs.  
Shining Armor: Good. I'll meet you at our rendezvous on Tatooine, and may the Force be with you.

(Shining Armor walks to the viewer with Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack as they look up at the Falcon is about to take off. Cut to inside the Falcon.)

John: You got it, pal.  
Rob: Wait, John, why are you wearing Doug's clothes?  
John: We have similar tastes in fashion.  
Rob: Well I guess that makes sense.

(The Falcon takes off in search for Doug. Cut to reality.)

Doug: Well, they're glad we're still doing parody, but they also love our original works too, and our last two works are still doing excellent.  
Rob: Excellent! I think we've got a good thing going here.

(Everyone agrees.)

The End.


	7. Parallels

**Equestria Preteens**

**Season 5**

Episode 7: Parallels

(It opens as the gang is headed to school when they meet up with a guy that looks perfectly like Doug.)

Doug: Hey, who are you?  
Guy: Oh! I'm uh... Dennis. Dennis Fielder. No relation to Pa... I mean no relation to your grandpa.  
Doug: Okay.

(Sunset comes up.)

Sunset: Hey you guys, who's this handsome look-a-like of Doug's?  
Doug: His name's Dennis.  
Sunset: Nice to meet you, Dennis. I'm Sunset Shimmer.  
Dennis: Hello.  
Sunset: So, how about I show you around?  
Dennis: Uh... Okay...  
Sunset: You know you arrived just in time. We're doing a costume party.  
Doug: Whoo!  
Dennis: Eh.

(Cut to later as Dennis walks off as he sees everyone talking as he goes to a house. He flips a switch as a huge lab appears in the living room, and he puts on a Doctor Insano outfit as he laughs insanely. He goes to a bank delivery and pulls out a hacking device and begins using it as the gang pass.)

Dennis: Ooh, I have an idea.

(Dennis pushes a button as the van charges forward, just missing them.)

Doug: What the-? Someone's stealing that armored car!  
Rob: What do we do?

(Twilight teleports Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Doug to the roof as their eyes wobble around.)

Doug: Hey, you mastered that teleporting spell. That's awesome.

(Rainbow Dash jumps into the driver's seat as she looks around.)

Rainbow Dash: Wait, there's no one in here.  
Doug: Well there's nothing here to control it. RD, can you get control of this thing?  
Rainbow Dash: No problem.

(Rainbow Dash hits the brakes as the armored car stops.)

Dennis: Nice try.

(Dennis pushes a button as the brake stops, and it continues towards him before Doug snaps his fingers.)

Doug: Maybe there's some kinda wireless control on the bottom! I saw it in an episode of Scooby-Doo!  
Applejack: Well how the hay are we supposed to get down there?!  
Doug: RD, pop a wheelie!  
Rainbow Dash: What?!  
Doug: We'll get down to the hood, and then we need you to pop a wheelie with the Armored Car!  
Rainbow Dash: ... That's gonna be awesome!

(Applejack and Doug get down to the hood as Rainbow Dash pops the wheelie as Doug and Applejack peer over and see a device just at the driver's side hood area. Doug grabs it and pulls it off as Dennis' control stops working.)

Dennis: Blast! Oh, this isn't over!

(Rainbow Dash stops as they get out when Clem and Lem arrive.)

Clem: Now youngsters, that wasn't safe.  
Doug: Yeah, but we found something under the hood.

(He shows the device.)

Doug: Some kinda remote control.  
Lem: Oh my. Well, good work keeping the money safe kids, but be a bit more careful next time.  
Doug: Yes sir.

(They take the car and drives off as Dennis jumps up.)

Dennis: Fools, you dare tamper with my scientific breakthroughs?!  
Doug: Who are you? Dr. Insano?  
Dr. Insano: Yes!  
Doug: Gotta say Mr. Antwiler you're a lot paler than I thought.  
Dr. Insano: What? No! I'm not the Dr. Insano from the Spoony Experiment! I'm just a guy who was inspired by it.  
Doug: Oh. So how'd you make that control?  
Dr. Insano: With science! Like my power gloves!

(Dr. Insano shoots lightning out of his gloves as everyone ducks.)

Rainbow Dash: Dude, what the heck?!

(The others arrive.)

Pinkie: Hi. Who are you?  
Dr. Insano: I'm Dr. Insano, and this won't be the last you see of me!

(He pushes a button as a puff of smoke comes from his boots, as when the smoke clears, he disappears.)

Twilight: Well that was weird.

(Cut to Dennis' place as he takes off his gear and goes to a picture of a younger Doug with his mother, father, and sister. "My Eyes" begins to play as he walks through the street to see the gang helping out homeless people.)

Dennis: _Any dolt with half a brain,  
Can see that human kind has gone insane.  
To the point where I don't know  
if I'll upset the status quo  
If I throw poison in the water main.  
_  
(He turns and sees some jocks shoving aside a skinny boy as Dennis helps the boy up and stares at the leaving jocks.)

Dennis: _Listen close to everybody's heart  
And hear that breaking sound.  
Hopes and dreams are shattering apart  
And crashing to the ground...  
_  
(He goes past the gang again as they continue to help the homeless people as if that will ever make a real difference.)

Dennis: _I cannot believe my eyes!  
How the world's filled with filth and lies!  
But it's plain to see... Evil inside of me...  
Is on the rise . . .  
_  
(Cut to inside as the gang's helping to serve soup and the like to the people, with Applejack cooking, Pinkie distributing, and everyone else helping out where they can.)

Twilight: _Look around.  
We're living with the lost and found.  
_Fluttershy: _Just when you feel you almost drowned.  
You find yourself on solid ground.  
_Pinkie: _And you believe there's good in everybody's heart.  
Keep it safe and sound.  
_Applejack: _With hope, you can do your part.  
To turn a life around...  
_Doug: _I cannot believe my eyes!  
Is the world finally growing wise?!  
'Cause it seems to me...  
Some kind of harmony...  
Is on the rise . . .  
_  
(Cut to a split screen of the gang and Dennis spending their respective weekend.)

Dennis/Gang: _Anyone with half a brain (Take it slow.)  
Could spend their whole life howling in pain. (Friends look on and seem to know.)  
Because the dark is everywhere, (The things a guy's afraid to show.)  
And he just doesn't seem to care that soon the dark in us is all that will remain. (And suddenly we feel this glow.)  
Listen close to everybody's heart (I believe there's good in everybody's heart.)  
And hear that breaking sound... (Keep it safe and sound.)  
Hopes and dreams are shattering apart (With hope you can do your part)  
And crashing to the ground... (To turn a life around...)  
I cannot believe my eyes!  
How the world's filled with filth and lies! (How the world seems to have grown wise!)  
But it's plain to see...  
Evil inside of me... (Some kind of harmony...)  
Is on the rise . . .  
_  
(Cut to Insano's lair as he finishes a new laser and laughs insanely.)

Insano: I'm back, baby!

(Cut to the dance as everyone's there and having a good time, with Celestia, Luna, and Discord acting as chaperones when Insano bursts in.)

Doug: Dr. Insano! So we meet again.  
Trixie: Wait, isn't that the name of the mad scientist from the Spoony Experiment?  
Insano: Yes, I was inspired by him, but it doesn't count as copyright since I'm a real person.  
Trixie: Still seems like there are some copyright issues.  
Insano: Oh, shut up!  
Doug: Look, at least tell us who you are.  
Insano: Why Doug, don't you recognize me? Eeheehee.

(Doug looks at him hard.)

Doug: Oh my gosh! You're John Discord!  
Discord: I'm right here!  
Doug: Oh, sorry. My bad. Oh, I know this one, Insano. You're Berryshine.  
Insano: I'm not freaking pink!  
Doug: But you are a woman, right?  
Insano: Yes I, wait no. Screw this.

(Insano blasts Doug down as he takes off his goggles to reveal Dennis.)

Doug: Oh my gosh! Dennis?! But why are you Dr. Insano.  
Insano: Eeheehee! Oh, that's an easy one. Dennis Fielder was a fabrication by me to hide my true identity. You see, Doug, I'm you.  
Doug: ... Eh?  
Insano: You see, the multiverse was created through the theory that for every choice we make, two universes are created. One where we made the choice, and one where we didn't. In my universe, after our parents and Beth died, I forsook the idiotic ideas of faith and threw myself into the world of science. As I began developing possible attempts of cures and the like, the scientific community refused to fund my research because it was "too expensive"! As such, I decided the only thing I could do to stop such corruption was to take over the world!  
Doug: So how'd you get here?  
Insano: A device I created to allow me to travel through hypertime to arrive in other dimensions, and eventually, I came here. The polar opposite of my world. The world where I've met you.  
Doug: What do I have to do with anything?  
Insano: You went through everything I went through, and yet you still foolishly believe in faith! Plus this world is close to forsaking the purity of SCIENCE ... For the foolish believes in such frivolous things as magic. I will destroy you, and then magic, and then EHEHEHEEH! I will conquer the world!  
Pinkie: This is the best exposition dump ever!

(Pinkie eats popcorn and everyone stares.)

Insano: And now I shall destroy you!

(Insano fires his lightning fingers at Doug as he dodges, and it restarts the boom box as it restarts the music, as everyone begins dancing, even Insano.)

Insano: The one thing science cannot fight. The urge to shake that groove thing!

(The music stops as Insano pulls out his laser and fries the DJ's equipment.)

Insano: And now, die!

(Insano fires at Doug as he dodges and tackles Insano, making him drop the laser as Insano shoves Doug aside.)

Insano: And now, I shall-  
Rainbow Dash: Leave our friend alone!

(Doug's nine friends charge as Rainbow Dash and Applejack lead the charge in beating Insano up as he falls over. Doug gets up and holds the laser as he looks at Insano who comes to a realization and smirks.)

Insano: Go on... Do it... Be a man... OF SCIENCE!  
Doug: No.

(Doug tosses the laser to Discord.)

Doug: Take care of this, would you, sir?  
Discord: Delighted.

(Discord snaps his fingers as the laser disappears.)

Insano: Oh, you may have won today, Doug, but mark my words! One day I will teach you to respect science and forsake magic! Even if I have to prank you day in and day out for the rest of time! EEEHEHEHEHEE!

(Insano continues to laugh maniacally until he stops and looks around before walking off.)

Pinkie: That was fun! We should invite him back next year!  
Everybody: NO!

(They then go back to consorting and talking.)

The End.


	8. Chis' Baby

**Equestria Preteens**

**Season 5**

Episode 8: Chris' Baby

(It opens as the gang's hanging out outside of school, except Chris.)

Doug: Anyone know where Chris is?

Twilight: Beats me. He's been tardy everyday for the past week.

Pinkie: Maybe he's trying out a more scenic route to school.

Rob: Maybe he suffered a stroke and is trying to hide a limp.

Rainbow Dash: You are dark, Rob. Seriously, how is it that Doug is the one with the insane alternate counterpart when you've been making remarks like that since we met.

Rob: Relax, I only asked because I saw 12 Angry Men last night.

Rarity: Oh, I love that film. The elegance of Citizen Kane with the investment of To Kill a Mocking Bird.

John: True, but to be honest, I always enjoy a good adventure myself.

Fluttershy: Um... Shouldn't we be concerned about Chris?

Applejack: Fluttershy's right. We gotta see what's goin' on with him!

(Chris comes up.)

Doug: Hey man, you alright? You look tired.

Chris: Uh... Bad night.

(Mrs. Mccool comes up, a middle aged woman in a police uniform.)

Mrs. Mccool: Yeash, next time hon, just ask for a ride.

(She turns to the gang.)

Mrs. Mccool: Kids these days.

(They go inside to a class as Insano pops up laughing maniacally in front of Chris.)

Insano: Oh, sorry. I thought you were Twilight or Doug... You alright?

(Chris falls on top of Insano.)

Insano: AH!

Doug: Oh my gosh, what happened to Chris?!

Insano: Just get him off! He's heavier than he looks!

(They help him into his chair as he slumps onto his desk as Insano stands up groaning.)

Insano: Oh forget it; I'll get you next time.

(He walks off grumbling. Cut to later as Chris wakes up in Mrs. Mccool's office, with Celestia and Luna there.)

Chris: Oh hi everybody.

Celestia: Chris, your friends and I are concerned about you. You've been late all week, you always appear exhausted, and you've been falling asleep repeatedly for the last couple of days.

Chris: I'm fine.

(Mrs. Mccool gently slaps him upside the head.)

Mrs. Mccool: Don't lie to us, young man.

Chris: Come on, Mom. Not in front of everybody.

Luna: Chris, just tell us what's going on? It's obviously affecting not just your personal life, but your school life; as such it's our job as your principal and former principal, and your friends, to help you through it.

Mrs. Mccool: Well answer her, young man.

Chris: Look guys, I appreciate it, but it's something I have a control on.

(The phone rings as Chris picks it up.)

Chris: Hello. Oh no! I'll be right there!

(Chris hangs up and is about to run off.)

Celestia: Chris, get back here!

Chris: Ma'am, I can't! My baby needs me!

(Chris runs off.)

Doug: Baby? Did he say baby?

Mrs. Mccool: If some girl got my boy in trouble, she's gonna have to answer to me!

Twilight: So... I guess we can't exactly let this slide.

Rob: You know for high school students, we don't spend all that much time in a high school.

Doug: Yeah, it's kinda weird.

(Cut to later as Doug, Twilight, Celestia, and Luna arrive at Chris' house with Mrs. Mccool.)

Doug: Hey Chris, you there, pal?

(Chris opens the door.)

Chris: Oh hey guys... Well I guess you wanna come in.

(They enter the room as they see a bassinet in there.)

Mrs. Mccool: Chris... Why's there a bassinet in your room?

Chris: Uh...

(The baby in it begins crying.)

Chris (nervously): Oh that darned cat.

Mrs. Mccool: We don't have a cat.

Doug: How'd you not hear this anyway?

Mrs. Mccool: Honey, I started out as a policewoman in Chicago and got a trick ear like your pa from a gun firing just to the side of my head. When a door's closed, you'd have to be as loud as that for me to hear it.

Doug: Oh.

Twilight: Chris, where'd that baby come from?

Chris: You don't know where babies come from, Twilight?

Twilight: Yes, but I meant where did this particular baby come from?

Chris: A friend of mine from down the street dropped him off while Mom was doing some overtime.

Doug: ... When?

Chris: Saturday.

Mrs. Mccool: Hon, that was five days ago.

Chris: What's your point, Mom?

Celestia: Chris, she abandoned this baby.

Chris: No she didn't ma'am.

Doug: Chris, who would leave someone a baby for five days?

Chris: She was going to an interview.

Doug: For five days?

Chris: Maybe it's in California.

Doug: Maybe she abandoned him!

Chris: She did no abandon Ernie!

(The baby wakes up and cries.)

Chris: Now see what you did?

Doug: Sorry. Um... What do we do?

Chris: Looks like he's hungry, but I ran out of the baby food Ernie's mother left.

Mrs. Mccool: I'll go to the store and get some. You kids just stay here.

(Mrs. Mccool walks off.)

Celestia: ... Did she just call me kid?

Doug: Yup.

Celestia: ... Alright.

(The three look at the kid as Doug's the first to go down to Ernie.)

Doug: Hey little buddy. I'm Doug. Don't worry. Chris' mom is getting food. You can wait that long, right?

(Doug picks the baby up and holds him as he calms down a little and coos a little.)

Twilight: Wow, you're good with kids.

Doug: Oh, my cousin has a kid a year older than Ernie, and this was my strategy for when it was my turn to hold her at Christmas.

Celestia: Well I suppose we just wait for Mrs. Mccool to arrive to have a better chance to talk to Chris, and the others should be here soon as well.

Doug: What's keeping them anyway?

Twilight: I don't know.

(Mrs. Mccool eventually returns.)

Mrs. Mccool: Boy, this takes me back. I haven't bought strained peas in ten years.

Doug: Ten years? But Chris would've only been six. Who'd you buy it for?

Mrs. Mccool: Dad.

Doug: Oh.

(The others arrive as Chris begins feeding Ernie.)

Rob: So that's the baby?

Doug: Yeah. Chris was left with him five days ago when the mother left for a job interview.

Rarity: Oh my.

(Pinkie joins Fluttershy in cooing at Ernie.)

Celestia: Luna, would you care helping me out here?

Luna: Of course.

(The two sit next to Chris who's feeding Ernie.)

Celestia: Look Chris, I'm afraid you'll have to face the facts, this child has been abandoned.

Chris: Ma'am, I know Mary. She'd never just abandon Ernie.

Luna: Chris, listen to me. The mother, Mary, isn't coming back. I know you're just a teenager, but sometimes things don't work out in the end.

Chris: But-

Twilight: But nothing, Chris! Are you seriously planning on doing this for eighteen years when you're only sixteen?!

Chris: ... What do you want me to do?

Twilight: My dad's a cop. He can arrange for Ernie to be placed in an orphanage.

Chris: Well if he's going for a trip, you better get Mr. Boogie.

Applejack: Say huh?

Chris: His teddy bear. Mary left him at her place, but she gave me a key to her house. Here.

Twilight: I'll do it.

Chris: Alright. Mr. Boogie is in the playpen in the living room. She's just past the house to your left as you walk out.

(Twilight nods and walks off.)

Doug: Aw.

(Cut to a few moments later outside of Rob's house as a woman of about twenty-three or so is outside listening at the door when Twilight arrives with the teddy bear.)

Twilight: Um, excuse me, can I help you?

Woman: Oh no, I was just... Oh, Mr. Boogie...

Twilight: Hi Mary.

(Cut to inside the house as Twilight arrives with Mary.)

Mary: Hi.

Chris: Hey Mary. I know someone who'll be glad to see you.

(Chris hands Ernie to Mary.)

Mrs. Mccool: One question, what happened?

Mary: I really did go to the job interview, but I don't know, I just kept walking, and then when I came to my senses I got ashamed that I left him, but I just had to come back here if only to say, that I'm sorry Ernie.

Chris: I think he knows you care for him.

Mary: So who are these people?

Pinkie: We're friends of Chris, and we were helping him watch Ernie for you.

Celestia: Of course, we adults may need some assurance that you wouldn't-

Chris: I'll vouch for her. I knew she'd come back after all.

Luna: Yes you did.

Mary: Well good-bye Chris.

Chris: Bye, and if you ever need a babysitter, you can come to me.

Mary: Thanks Chris. Bye.

Everyone: Bye.

(They head off as everyone smiles.)

Mrs. Mccool: Okay, now everybody out. This boy needs some sleep.

(They head out as Mrs. Mccool turns around, and Chris is already out cold, and she covers him with a blanket before going to the kitchen.)

The End.


	9. Rainbow Crush

**Equestria Preteens**

**Season 5**

Episode 9: Rainbow Crush

(It opens as Doug is hanging out with Rainbow Dash as they play Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2.)

Rainbow Dash: Doug, your teamwork abilities are now fifty percent cooler!  
Doug: Wow, and we were only shooting for twenty. Oh, check out what me and Twilight did to my new Vibranium shield.

(Doug holds up the shield and tosses it at a wall as it bounces back to Doug's arm.)

Rainbow Dash: It's official. Magic is awesome.  
Doug: Yeah. Hey, I was figuring on taking a walk around the place to kinda see all the hangouts, any ideas?  
Rainbow Dash: Hey, how about I take you?  
Doug: What? Really?  
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, you're a friend, and I'd be honored.  
Doug: Well thanks buddy. I'll be set by four.  
Rainbow Dash: Awesome!

(Cut to four as Doug arrives at the door with flowers.)

Doug: Hey RD. These are for you.

(Doug puts the flowers in a vase for her.)

Rainbow Dash: Oh, that's so cool.  
Doug: Yeah, I should thank you. I haven't been out with someone outside of a birthday party or a family outing since... Ever.  
Rainbow Dash: Well maybe this can be an unofficial date. You know, practice our moves on each other.  
Doug: Ooh, cool! Well, let's head out.

(They do so. Cut to a restaurant.)

Doug: I will have the taco salad.  
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, I'll have the same.

(They hand their menus to the waiter who heads off.)

Doug: So I get to see Rainbow Dash's moves on a date, so what are they?  
Rainbow Dash: Well, I only have one big starter move. It's basically me saying, "I was going to wait for you to be ready to kiss me, but you're so handsome, I just can't wait."  
Doug: Whoa! Now that was the show stopper, right there. I almost leaned in.  
Rainbow Dash: Yeah, so what are some of your moves?  
Doug: Okay, I only have one... So, where'd you grow up?  
Rainbow Dash: Grow up? That's it? Boy Doug, you're lucky you're nice.  
Doug: Just answer the question.  
Rainbow Dash: Okay, I grew up in here in Canterlot.  
Doug: So close to your parents?  
Rainbow Dash: With my dad. Not so much with my mom.  
Doug: Oh really? Why?  
Rainbow Dash: I don't know. There's always seemed to have been this distance between us. We pretend it's not there, but it is.  
Doug: Wow, sounds hard.  
Rainbow Dash: It is... I just- Whoa! Awesome! And it's so simple. You go around any big defenses in a minute!  
Doug: Yup.  
Rainbow Dash: Awesome.

(Cut to the end of the day as Rainbow Dash and Doug get back to the guys' house as the two are laughing.)

Rainbow Dash: Oh man, that was the most awesome night I ever had in my life!  
Doug: Yeah. It was great.  
Rainbow Dash: So, I never really have that many end of the night moves, but how about you?  
Doug: Not really. I just make a joke, you know like... "See you up there, Rainbow."

(Rainbow Dash laughs.)

Rainbow Dash: Wow.  
Doug: Well goodnight, RD.

(Doug goes to his room.)

Rainbow Dash: Yeah, good night.

(Rainbow Dash walks off confused. Cut to later as Rainbow Dash is at the town thinking.)

Rainbow Dash (mentally): That's weird. I mean, Doug's a friend. Just a friend. That was totally just a side effect of the unofficially date.

(Doug walks past.)

Doug: Hey RD.  
Rainbow Dash: Hey. (Mentally) Oh, he's so handsome! ... Wait...

(She rushes to Pinkie's house and gets to Pinkie.)

Rainbow Dash: Pinkie, I need you to keep a secret!  
Pinkie: Cross my heart and hope to cry! Stick a cupcake in my eye!  
Rainbow Dash: Okay... Okay... I have a crush on Doug.

(Pinkie gasps.)

Rainbow Dash: Don't worry. It's not a big deal. I'm sure I'll forget all about it after awhile.  
Pinkie: Okay, but don't worry! Your secret's safe with me.

(Rainbow Dash and Pinkie shake hands.)

The End.


	10. Good News & Robots

**Equestria Preteens**

**Season 5**

Episode 10: Good News & Robots

(It opens in Canterlot as the gang is talking together when Twilight's brother and his wife, Shining Armor and Cadence, respectively, arrive.)

Twilight: Shining Armor! Cadence!

(Twilight runs to Shining Armor and nuzzles him before going to Cadence and doing their little dance.)

Twilight & Cadence: Sunshine! Sunshine! Ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!

(They laugh as Twilight recomposes herself.)

Twilight: So, what are you two doing here?  
Shining Armor: We've got great news for you, Twilie. Cadence is pregnant.  
Twilight: ... You mean you guys are gonna have a baby! Oh heaven, that's so great! I'm gonna be an aunt, and you're gonna be parents!  
Pinkie: PARTY!

(Cut to the local hangout, Sugar Cube Corner, as everyone's there while Shining Armor and Cadence sit in the center.)

Chris: Why, you two must be so happy! In a few months, a baby's gonna be born when your-  
Doug: Chris, Chris, why don't you help Pinkie and the Cakes serve the food?  
Chris: Oh, right.  
Cadence: So have been, Doug?  
Doug: Pretty good, ma'am. Twilight always talks about you two.  
Shining Armor: Good.  
Rob: So, where do you two live?  
Cadence: Oh, Crystalopolis. It's like a real life Metropolis.  
Rob: Cool, so what do you do?  
Cadence: I'm a teacher, and Shining Armor is a police captain.  
Rob: Dang...  
John: May I be among those who will congratulate you and your husband, madam?  
Cadence: Sure.

(John kisses Cadence's hoof and hands her some flowers he pulls out of nowhere.)

Cadence: Not bad, Mr. Brown.

(Everyone congratulates her when there's a big shake.)

Doug: The heck?!

(Cut to outside in the countryside outside of Canterlot as a huge Neutro robot is attacking.)

Doug: Really?! A robot from a comic book?!  
Insano (PA): Peoples of Canterlot, your new lord and master... Has returned...  
Doug: Dr. Insano!  
Insano: Of course! Who else but I could create an actual Neutro robot in just a week?!  
Doug: But how are you controlling that thing?!  
Insano: How? With the perfect science of a cockpit of course! EEHEHHEEHEE! Oh, by the way, congrats on the baby, you two down there.  
Cadence: Um... Thanks...?  
Doug: Don't worry. I've got this.

(He pulls out a coin from his pocket.)

Applejack: Uh Doug, that's a coin.  
Doug: A magic coin. Now... Magic coin... Make my body grow!

(He's teleported to the robot, now as big as it.)

Doug: Alright Neutro, you may be a giant robot of destruction, BUT I AM A MAN!

(He punches it and groans.)

Doug: Ow! Son of a Witch that hurt. Okay.

(He pulls out a Lightsaber, cuts Neutro open, and he then takes Insano out and returns to normal as Insano just gapes.)

Doug: So... Up for joining the party?  
Insano: ... Eh, why not? Making a giant killer robot is hard work. Oh yeah, and the whole, I will either destroy you or turn you into me thing.  
Doug: Yeah.

(They go back to the party and talk as if nothing happened.)

The End.


	11. Crisis

**Equestria Preteens**

**Season 5**

Episode 11: Crisis

(It opens as the gang is talking when Dr. Insano arrives.)

Doug: Alright, what do you want now, Insano?  
Insano: This!

(Insano pushes a button as suddenly, the group ends up four years older.)

Insano: EEHEEHEE! It worked! My hypertime destabilization project was a complete success! Well sort of. I'm a little bit older now.  
Doug: What did you do now, Insano?!  
Insano: Who me?! Why I've just caused an instability in hypertime!  
Rob: You insane fool! You just washed all of reality down the toilet!  
Insano: Oh boo-hoo! Dr. Insano's creating a crisis on infinite earths! Now, if you can manage to figure out the key to my device, I'll leave and fix your stupid multiverse, but if not, all of reality will belong to Dr. Insano! HAHAHAAH!

(There's another flash as the gang's replaced with ponies.)

Twilight: Huh? What the heck happened?  
Pinkie: I don't know. Ooh! Look at this!

(Pinkie makes fingers appear on her hoof.)

Applejack: Oh... That aint natural.

(There's another flash as Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are shorter than normal, Rarity, Doug, and Twilight have pointed ears, and Rob now looks like a green Klingon.)

Rob: I do not like this at all!  
Chris: Oh relax. It could be a whole lot worse.

(There's another flash, as the group is dressed in Starfleet uniforms, with Doug, Twilight, and Rarity still having pointed ears, John looking like a Bajoran, Rob as a Klingon, and Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash as Cardassians.)

Fluttershy: Oh my. This is a little strange.  
Rainbow Dash: Okay, I've had enough of this! We need a plan!  
John: I'm open to suggestions.  
Rarity: Oh, I believe I have one.

(Rarity goes to Insano and administers the Vulcan Nerve Pinch on him as he falls over.)

Rarity: That was easy.

(Doug picks up the device and sees an undo function.)

Doug: Voila.

(Doug pushes the button as everything returns to normal, and he steps on the device.)

Insano: Oh dang it! Oh, whatever. See you later.

(Insano walks off grumbling.)

Doug: You know, he's a surprisingly good sport for a bad guy.  
Twilight: Yeah. I noticed that too.

The End.


End file.
